the voice

Hubby's back to work! Yeah!!

He just started today, got the call yesterday, gone today. We will see how it goes. The only thing is it's at an Shell oil refinery, and it's really a pretty scary job, so I'm a little freaked out. Trying not to think about it to much. They are also working up to 7 days a week, 12 hour days right now, and there is a good possibility that he will be put on night shift. Ugggg! I mean the pay check is much needed, but I worry about his health and my sanity.

I was admittedly really liking the extra help. Need it. At least for another month or so. It is going to take a lot of energy I don't have right now to go back to the whole "single" parent thing. Being responsible for everything and not getting any breaks at all. Keeping the daycare running right now is hard enough. He won't be able to and I won't want him to be doing extra when he gets home if he is working those long hours. If he works nights, I will never sleep. I am a serious wimp about him not being here at night. There was only one other time when he worked a swing shift, and I hated it. Plus how will he ever get any good sleep, childcare is not a quiet business!

So a huge part of me is relieved that he has been called in to work, but there is this pesky little voice in me that is squeaking "what about me, don't leave me all alone with these little boys, I don't feel good, take care of me, help!" I am trying desperately to tune it out, because it is selfish, but it has a pretty high pitch to it.