Prayers

Ryder's mom is sick. Apparently very, very sick. She went to the ER last Sunday, and is still at the hospital doing test. Today they are checking for cancer. They did a cat scan yesterday and saw a lot of lumps or cyst and so they are now checking to see if those are cancerous. She has been sick for a while, it's a long story, but we didn't expect it to take this turn for the worse.

It's no secret that her and I don't get along. That being said I have still been in near tears all day long, for my husband, for J, for their sister, because three siblings could be left with out the only parent they have. My husband is falling apart. It kills me to hear his sad broken voice. I could tell he was falling apart this morning when I was trying to ask him if he had any new information and he was getting really agitated trying to talk about it. I hugged him and let it go. He then called me a few hours later, broken and in tears, choking on his words. It is so hard for all of them because their mom has done the most horrible things to them, she is selfish, rude, and at times flat out mean. It's always been about her their whole lives. And part of them resents that. But she is their mom, the only parent any of them have, and they love her regardless. Regardless of everything.

There is a lot more to this story that I don't feel like going into right now in light of us not know at this point how truly ill she is. It has to do with J though and some information I got from his sister about what has been going on since he started living with his mom again. I've been lied to. I am angry. Angry and sad, a bit of a mess. And feeling guilty for being angry at someone so sick. Frustrating.

Prayers for her and her children who are having a hard time right now (and maybe even some prayers for me that I will not feel so angry at a time like this).