Friday, May 29, 2009

Silly sleepers

My littlest two find themselves in the silliest sleeping arrangements.
Sometimes it's adorable.

Sometimes it's just plain strange.

But lately it's always when they are together.

Snuggling in there own special way.

They are so peaceful when they are sleeping aren't they? I find that no matter how hard our day has been when I look at their peaceful sleepy faces it all melts away and I just want to snuggle up close and soak it all in.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Now my stomach hurts

Wowsers...things just got stressful with my heart child's adoption process (that we have been working on for 2 1/2 years now!) I just got off the phone with adoption support and it looks like, because of budget cuts, we won't continue to get the same amount of support we were counting on, much less actually. I've talked about my heart child before (I think you all know it's Atty by now, the adorable red head) and how his addition to our family was unexpected. He is my brother's biological child and they were unable to care for him, so he was placed with us at six days old and has been with us ever since. I didn't get 9 months to prepare, it wasn't part of our original plan, but plans change so often don't they? I got less then a week to prepare for the huge responsibility of raising another child, and although my husband and I don't regret it for a minute I would be lying if I tried to act like it didn't added a lot of financial stress as well as being overwhelming in general at times. We have been getting some financial assistants since his placement with us but now that the adoption is almost complete we have to beg our case in order to continue receiving any assistance. I'm not very good at that apparently. I guess I wouldn't be so stressed out about this if my husband wasn't laid off again and I wasn't on the brink of loosing my only full time child enrolled in my daycare because one of her parents is about to lose their job also. Daycare is one of the first things people cut if they can, and when you aren't working you aren't putting your child in daycare, I have had barely a call in the last year, which is nothing like the years prior! Stinkin' economy.

I can't really explain the whole situation so it probably seems like a petty thing to be worried about in the bigger picture, but none the less...I just needed to vent.

Which has made me feel a little better and since my hands were busy typing I stopped stress eating for a moment. Stress eating and being pregnant is not a good combination. Now the stress has turned into a stomachache (or was it all the food?) so I'm done for now. I have a lot to think about and figure out tonight, because I have to call the lady from adoption support back tomorrow at the latest, so I probably won't be sleeping much tonight. Whenever something is bothering me I can't turn my brain off, it's so irritating.

Ugggggg....I just want this all to be over and the adoption complete...I'm so tired of it.

Monday, May 25, 2009

A weekend in color.

We had an awesome long weekend. We found the best camping spot ever. Our back yard. On Saturday we ate a super yummy dinner on our back deck which consisted of chicken and sliced potatoes off the grill and super delicious tender steamed kale greens out of our garden. First crop of the year to make it to the table and it was devoured. We followed all this goodness with an over load of sugar...we were camping after all! We fed the boys smores for the first time. They were in awe!
Smores...yummy, yummy, yummy...

Stuffing his face, sugar never tasted so good!

Even Atty got a smores treat even though he really shouldn't have had the graham cracker being as it has wheat in it. See the pure glee on his face. I hate how he misses out on stuff because of all of his food sensitivities so every once and a while, if there is no alternative, I let him have a little and just deal with the rest. His reactions aren't severe enough for me to sweat the small stuff, just severe enough to warrant removing them from his diet. Which is an on going frustrating process, but that's a whole 'nother post.

This campsite had everything, even the sound of running water from the pond. Made it feel almost like we were at the river. Almost. Except safer, and less stressful, I'll go for that at this point.

A belly full of smores...oh and baby for me! :) Notice our dog, she has a major sweet tooth, the smell of roasting marshmallows was driving her crazy. She was desperate to get her jaws on some of that sweet goodness.

Roasting my toes by the fire. What a wonderful way to end the day. We didn't sleep in the tent that night, because the lure of a movie and a warm soft bed was too much. That's why this campground is the best, it comes with options. We did end the night snuggled together watching a movie until the boys drifted off to sleep, so sweet.
Then on Sunday we packed up and headed to a State park we hadn't ever been to before, and it made for another great day. The boys gobbled some watermelon right when we got there, then we ate a yummy lunch (which included raw kale greens for me because I seriously can't get enough of them!) and headed out to explore.

We hiked up a trail a ways. They stopped at every tree to tell us how big it was. When they weren't hugging trees they were running and scaring there mother senseless, because there would be these drop offs all of a sudden and I was terrified that one of them was going to go flying off. We all made it in one piece, mommy a little frazzled, but still having fun.

Gorgeous views.

Love these boys.

Squishing in for a family picture.

We took a break in this beautiful green grassy spot with all these little daisies. Bubu kept picking them to give to me and calling them daisy lions, which I loved. Atty decided that daddy would look good with one in his ear. Not behind his ear. In. His. Ear. It was pretty funny.

Enjoying the view.
I tried to get the boys to take a picture with me one at a time. Thought it would be cute. Spike wasn't into it. Wouldn't look up, not once. Little stinker.

This one worked. Which was a shocker because lately he has been looking the other way when I try to take his picture or he puts his hand up in the way. Maybe it was because daddy was taking the picture. Lately he's all about daddy, mommy is a thing of the past. Unless he gets hurt, or needs something.

Hubby didn't take this one up close and then when he tried to start over and do a close up, Atty was done. Oh well. This one is cute regardless. I was proud of my husband for taking such good pictures, he is notorious for his horrendous picture taking abilities. He's good at so many things but taking pictures is generally not one of them.

I tried to get artsy and take a picture of our shadows, can you guess who is who...

We also spent some time just relaxing on the beach. Throwing rocks in the water. The boys favorite pass time. Aren't they so cute.

Daddy went to join them.

Atty preferred to stay on the blanket with me and cover my leg in sand. Funny kid.

We went back home and ate another yummy dinner on the back deck and then roasted some marshmallows. Notice the guard around the back of the fire pit... ya, mommy needed it for a little more peace of mind. It was a tiny bit too scary for me the night before...I know I'm a freak. It's better to be safe then sorry I always say.
Luna decided to try the sad, neglected, feel sorry for me face that night to see if she could score any marshmallow from a gullible soul.

Taking a picture with my middle man. My wild child. My funny boy.

The boys decided to build towers with scrape wood and they had a blast.

The funnest part is always knocking them down.

Then while the boys were playing in the tent, or should I say rough-housing, I snuck in some chocolate. No I didn't share, I was doing them a favor, they already had enough sugar for one night.

The two littlest got to pretend camp, then I scooped them up and ushered them in doors. Daddy and Bubu got to camp out. Boy was Bubu excited, it was so cute. The little boys didn't really know what they were missing so I got to sleep on a nice comfy mattress in doors and I enjoyed every minute of it. Us three camped out in there room, so it was still fun, and so much easier.

...and this was Bubu and daddy this morning after their camp out, snuggling on the couch. Look at his little face, he had so much fun. He couldn't wait to tell me all about it when he got in the door. He hasn't stopped talking about camping all day. Cute.
So there you go, lots of pictures and a great time was had by all. Best weekend of this year so far...can't wait to see what else is in store!
Oh, and there is a new belly pic in the sidebar, 21 weeks, wow! I know I'm big...that's how I roll.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The man gives me grey hairs!

This is my hubby. Using a power tool.
Over our pond. Balancing on boards. Over water. Power tool.

Trying to fix our stupid pond, has been an ongoing headache to say the least. We had to fix a crack in the top pond, which didn't work the first time so we had to do it all over again. For some reason the rock that the water is suppose to flow over on one side is now higher and the water won't flow over it. We have tried propping the other side up higher and such but nothing was working. So my hubby decided enough was enough and broke out the power tool. He decided to shave down the rock so the water will flow over. Which would be a great idea if it didn't include perching over a body of water with a Power Tool! The man gives me grey hairs.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It makes for a good laugh.

"Daddy I want to shit on you."


"I want to shit on you."

Hubby shoots me a bewildered scared sort of look.

"He's saying sit honey, he wants to sit on your lap."

giggle, giggle...

Monday, May 18, 2009


I went alone to a baby shower last weekend and during the long drive there I started thinking about how next month is our anniversary, Ryder and I. We will be celebrating four years of marriage, and 15 years since our eyes met as he walked into the room. I was 15 years old when we met. So now he has been in my life for half of my life time! That got me thinking, and crying and all sentimental. So many things have happened since he first entered my world in 1994.
(I am not 500 lbs in this picture, I'm just wearing everything I owned at the time or something, I use to layer, a lot. Not that it really matters, I just felt an unnecessary need to explain for some reason. Sorry for the rotten picture, it's was taken in 94 and it's a picture of a picture, so yeah...)


He is the only man I have ever been in love with. He is the only man who has the total ability to shatter my heart to pieces, which he did by the end of the summer we met. It was initially a short intense summer romance, which then dragged on for about another year of on again off again turmoil. Then we lost contact and what followed for me was a couple years of heart break and then soul searching. By the time I recovered and was headed in my own direction he reappeared in my life and still had the ability to make my heart race at the sound of his voice.

I tried to tell myself not to fall in love with him, but with in a year of his reappearance in 98, I was again hopelessly in love. Lucky for me this time so was he. We got back together and have been together ever since. The picture above was taken in the summer of 99. It took four years, and then another six before I was willing and ready to get married. We have been through a lot of ups and downs in our relationship over the years. A lot of hard times going on around us while we leaned on each other for support. Some super happy times and some heart wrenching times. Now we come to this, a home of our own over flowing with children and a relationship that has managed to stay solid over the years despite the odds.
I might write more about our relationship over the next few weeks because I'm in the mood to reminisce, if you want to skip it don't bother checking in over here until after our anniversary in June. It won't hurt my feelings I promise.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

strawberry shortcake

I made another diaper cake, and I love this one. I did a strawberry shortcake theme, and I think it ended up really adorable. I picked out outfits that were red and pink, some with polk-a-dots, some with strawberry patterns, all really stinkin' cute. There are six little outfits crammed inside that cake! I added socks which I turned into flowers, and baby wash clothes that I turned into candles. Instead of baby bottles on the inside I used a bottle of baby soap and a bottle of baby lotion. Then I found a cute strawberry teether, and of course the strawberry shortcake doll on top. I used fake cherry blossoms to keep the doll perched up there.Atty and Spike have tried to destroy this thing a bunch of times now, if I make it out of the house with it in one piece I will feel lucky.
Closer view of the doll and cherry blossoms.

Back view of the cake. I use diaper pins again to keep the ribbon together. The strawberry ribbon I tied in the front instead with the strawberry teether. I used red polk-a-dot ribbon around the individual diapers on the outside.
I am really liking making these for baby showers, I think it might possibly be my thing from now on. It's a lot of fun, make one, I swear you'll be hooked. There are some great tutorials, I found some on youtube.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


This...well this was good. Black bean burger with buttered yams and celery sticks. Oh yeah!

But this...well this was better. I made chocolate covered strawberries. I had left over chocolate from a treat I made for the daycare moms for Mother's day, and what else was I suppose to do with it? I ate way too many!
My pregnant self is a bit obsessed with food...ya think? I barely ate a thing when I was prego with Bubu and still gained 55 lbs and had an 11 lb baby. I went on a gestational diabetes diet with Spike, just to try and make him smaller and gain less, still gained 50 lbs and had a 10 lb baby. So this time...not going to do it. Don't care. Not going to try hard to fight the inevitable. What's the point. Just going to enjoy this pregnancy and a few more chocolate covered strawberries.

Oh and this, it doesn't taste good, but it sure is beautiful. I call this a unicorn sky. Even my husband calls them that now, so funny.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Practically famous...

Check this out! I couldn't get the text, but there's the picture, my mommy and boys in the Bellingham Herald. Funny thing is my mom was trying her hardest to hide from the camera and she ended up being front and center. The bummer, you can barely see Spike. My husband brought me the paper home and they are on the second page, a big ol' picture. So cute, I have to admit I'm super excited! Silly I know...

Oh and I finally figured out how to link...I feel so advanced. ;)

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Wow, I've had such a wonderful Mother's day!

Truthfully I wasn't even expecting it. Things have been so stressful with everything that has been going on with my husband's mother that my husband has been understandably distracted and a bit depressed as of late. I ended up in a rotten mood yesterday, which escalated into a horrifically nasty mood when I discovered that the babies had ripped up Every Single Tomato Plant that I had just planted into bigger containers. So Frustrating! The night ended with Atty climbing-fully clothed in his PJ- back into the bathtub that Bubu was still splashing around in. Uurrggg! I went to bed feeling like a rotten, mean, frustrated, overwhelmed mom, certainly not deserving of a day.

...But, I woke up determined to have a better day with my boys (getting to sleep in really helped my mood!) and I was greeted with breakfast and coffee. My hubby made me waffles, from scratch, with fruit sauce and turkey bacon which I had been craving. The waffles turned out so yummy (I had my doubts I'll admit it). The boys had all made really cute pictures for me and hubby got me a sweet card and a beautiful Lily for the garden. So sweet. Even J remembered to wish me a happy Mother's day, and he was sweet and helpful ALL day! Then my hubby told me he wanted to show me some furniture at a local furniture store. I guess J and my hubby had stopped in there the day before and saw a couch they thought I would love, and they wanted to show me the dinning room tables. I have been whining about getting a matching living room set of some sort since we moved in, and a new dinning table. I've been checking on Craigslist and such for quite a while now and haven't found anything I like. We have never owned a new piece of furniture, let alone a furniture set, right now there is one ugly old blue couch sitting all alone in my living room, and I hate it. It has been a year since we moved in and it's still the only piece of furniture in the whole room. We have also out grown our table that we have owned for the last eight years. It only sits four, ha, ha! Not working anymore. So anyways we went and boy, I got lost and everything was beautiful and well we spent more on furniture then I've ever imagined, I still feel guilty about it and probably will for years. I got a beautiful couch and love seat set that is dark brown, and a table that sits six, yeah! I didn't get any end tables or a coffee table or anything else because it all was really too expensive. I will just look for those things elsewhere. My husband was so nice about it, and really wanted me to pick out something I liked and was even encouraging me to go for the nicer couch when we had finally narrowed it down to two. What a dream. We ended up getting the couch they thought I would love, they are so smart. Hope they actually fit in my little tiny living room! I wanted a table that would sit eight, but trying to cram one of those into my dinning room would have been impossible.

Anyways after that I rushed off to go visit with my mom at a beautiful garden that was open for a mother's day celebration. Hubby and J went off to visit with their mom. While we were at the garden a man from the Herald newspaper asked if he could follow up around and take pictures of my boys! I think he liked the fro-hawks. He followed us around for about 20 minutes snapping pictures, it was quite the experience. Kind of embarrassing, but I can't lie, I will be excited if my boys end up in the paper! He got lots of Atty, can't miss that red fro-hawk or his big personality. My mom said she would keep an eye out, just in case any of the pictures make the cut. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that there won't be any of me! They won't be of Bubu because he was holding my mom's hand and she was trying desperately to hide from the camera. She was also laughing hysterically the whole time because she thought it was funny. She does that when she is nervous or what not, and it's always so embarrassing. She will get started and seriously won't be able to stop, she goes into a giggle fit. It happens to me occasionally and it terrifies me. I don't want to curse my sons with that!

Now we are back home and I'm waiting for the hubby to make it back too. He said he would clean up the kitchen and do the dishes, which would be a great end to a wonderful day, but I won't hold my breath. It was nice regardless, and not one little fit from any of the boys the whole far...I guess I shouldn't brag yet, they are still awake after all!

Friday, May 8, 2009

...and now we are here...

One year ago we became home owners. It was a proud day, a day we worked harder towards then I could even describe. We had a lot of step backs, a lot of unexpected life changes but we made it. We were finally standing on our front steps. With our boys. A home of our own.
My husband and I both had really rough childhoods, not a very good start in life to say the least. Many people at one point in our lives didn't think we would ever amount to much. We were angry and deeply hurt as teenagers. We could have chosen paths of destruction and we both almost did. So when I look at this picture and think of everything that happened in our lives before this point it brings me to tears. It's more then just owning a piece of property, it's the sweat and tears it took for us to be home owners, to live that dream. Something I could barely imagine as we were struggling through life, just trying to keep our heads above water. We had been working so hard for years prior to this, it felt like we finally had something to show for it all.
My husband never had a home. He moved from one place to another though out his childhood. Never the same place to rest his head. For him this was one of the biggest things he could give his kids, a place of their own. A safe place called home. To see his face, and how proud he felt when we walked though that door, that's what meant the most to me. He loved everything about the home, which was good considering he bought it with me sight unseen! Well I showed him pictures I took but that was it.
The year it took to find this house was so stressful. I had to do all the house tours by myself, pick the Realtors (I went through 3!), fill out the paperwork, everything on my own with three boys under two and a full time daycare to keep running. My bestest friend Iva saved me beyond words. My mom and other friends lent a helping hand, my husband did what he could but he had to work full time. To say I had a few emotional freak outs is still putting it lightly. I had just had a baby when we started, Atty was a little baby too being only four months older then Spike, and I was dealing with a teenager going through issues of his own. I was sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and almost about ready to crack by the time I stood on the front steps of my home. It was like a breath of fresh air.
We had no family to loan us money, no strings to pull, and honestly not a lot of money saved. But we had a great net work of friends and family to lean on for emotional and physical support, and we managed to time it just right and jump into the market at just the right time. It was scary. One of the biggest leaps of faith I have ever made. I essentially lost my job and bought a home at the same time. On the faith that I would be able to start up my business at the new location. It seemed like one of the most irresponsible, yet responsible decisions we had ever made as parents. We had three little mouths to feed, a huge responsibility to keep a roof over their heads. I had nightmares of loosing the new home and living under a bridge for months after we moved in, I was so afraid we wouldn't be able to make the mortgage payment on one income, let alone all the bills. One of the biggest things this last year has taught me... trust in God.

Our first year as home owners we encountered many unexpected things. Here is a list of some of the things that happened;
*The heater in our bathroom broke in the first week, still not fixed.
*We managed to blow up our hot tub, still not fixed.
*The top of our pond split and the crack got worse and worse. The water started spilling out in all the wrong places. The algae took over and the water got all murky and the fish were about to pack up and leave. We just (sort of) got that fixed last weekend.
*Our hot water heater went on the fritz in the dead of winter. It took two weeks for the part we had to order to make it through all the snow. Two weeks with out hot water, at Christmas time, horrid. My amazing husband fixed his first water heater and saved us all. He's awesome.
*Atty cracked the toilet tank and flooded the bathroom and hall. My hubby fixed that too.
*My garbage disposal just up and quit working and every time you would run the dishwasher the sink would flood. You would have to stand there and bucket water into the other side of the sink or it would flood the counter tops. My hubby figured out how to fix it thank goodness!
*The fan on our main heater seems to be going out, the only heat source in the house, thank goodness it's almost summer. We probably won't bother to fix it until we go to turn it back on next winter, and find out it's completely broken, because that's how we roll.
There's been many other little unexpected things that have happened as new home owners but those are the main ones. They may seem silly but we rented for so long and all we had to do was call the landlord and leave the fixing up to them, so this was a whole new ball game for us. Just last weekend when Ryder was trying to figure out how to get the pond pump to turn on again, J said "just call the landlord". Which I admit still fleets across my mind when something breaks down, until I remember, Oh Yeah I get the pleasure of fixing this myself (or at least my husband does).
This is what the front flower bed looks like this year. It was pretty empty, but I had a ton of plants that I was bringing with me. I couldn't even bring them all, because if you noticed, there is gravel everywhere. It's so yucky. This side bed was the only one with dirt in it. I made it slightly bigger then it originally was, and it was so hard to move all the gravel and weed barrier and add soil in just for a few extra feet of flower bed. When we first moved in I had all these plans to replace all the gravel up front with soil and turn them into beautiful flower beds, but after doing that little add on I was exhausted. I decided the gravel keeps the weeds aways so maybe it's not so bad after all. :) Maybe a couple years from now I will be brave enough to tackle it.

This is the front of our house one year later. I have added more plants into the gravel, and plan on added even more this year. I've got to figure out how to make it look better with out taking all the gravel up. The soil underneath the gravel, nasty. I love the house, but the yard is not a plant lovers dream. I did manage to get my husband to make me some little garden boxes on the side of the house, which is also covered in gravel. The previous owners had a love affair with gravel I fear. Not the pretty kind of rock either, just regular ol' gravel. So now I get a little garden, which is nice. Gardening is a hobby of mine, and even the little bit that I get to do is good for my soul. If I got my way I'd be in the yard all day, or at the local nursery. The inside of my house on the weekends in the summer time...not so nice.
So anyways this long drawn out post was just a way to reminisce this past year and the years prior that brought us to this date, our one year anniversary as home owners.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I'm the problem (or at least a good part of it).

My youngest has been giving me the hardest time lately at nap time. They all lay out on mats at nap time during daycare hours, and he just has a hard time settling down on his. He has taken to flailing around and then progressing into throwing a fit. So I have been sending him into his room until he is ready to lay on his mat. Which turns into quite the ordeal, let me tell you! Today he kept getting off of his mat while I was trying to get everyone else settled in, so I told him to go lay down in his room until he was ready to lay down with us. I braced myself for the turbulent response and subsequent aftermath of my request, but to my surprise he said "Kay mom" and sauntered into his room nonchalantly and I didn't hear a peep out of him. So after I had everyone settled in I went to check because usually when the boys are quiet it means they are getting into something. There he was on the bottom bunk snuggling with Luna our dog. I was a bit taken back so I just said again, you can sleep in her or out with us if you are ready to lay on your mat. He responded with another "Kay mom". So I walked out and laid down with Atty until he fell asleep. Then resisting the urge to check on him and spoil a good thing, I cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes, enjoying being able to get that out of the way so early, yet a little unnerved by the silence in the bedroom. I still hadn't heard a word from my littlest. So finally I snuck back down the hallway and this is what I saw. He had made his own snugly spot at the foot of the bed with Luna and went to sleep on his own! This may not seem like a big deal but this is the kid who won't fall asleep unless he has his arm flung across my neck and I am holding his hand just right. He is a serious snuggle bug, always has been. He never just lays down on his own and falls asleep. He usually has to make a big deal about it, or at least drag it out until I am ready to scream. Not today. So stinkin adorable. So grown up.

On another note-

So I'm aware that I complain about my boys a lot. I guess I just use my blog as a place to vent. But I have been focusing on the negative to much. I have great children. I am blessed. They are not always naughty and I often gets comments about how well behaved they are when we are out and about. They just save the momma drama up for me, and since I am always with them, I deal with the same frustrating things over and over again, and well...a girls gotta vent.

That being said some time this week I am going to spend the day noticing and jotting down all the funny/cute/sweet things my boys do and then I am going to blog all about that. Because they deserve it. I really feel as late that I have just been a grumpy pregnant mom, and they are definitely feeding off of that. Doesn't it seem like when we moms get in a bad mood, our brood follow suit. I know my boys start acting up big time when I am grumpy or sad or distracted. Which is of course the worse time to push my buttons!