Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Oh and I'm huge...I should stop looking at the scale when I'm weighed, except that wouldn't work because at my midwifes clinic you have to weigh yourself and then relive the humiliation when they ask you how much the scale reflected this time. Not very kind if you ask me. Big, bIg, biG...that's me.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
1 cup flour (what ever type you use)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp sugar
pinch of salt
1 beaten egg
1 cup buttermilk or milk
*When adding banana to make these banana pancakes combine the milk and banana to make one cup. I usually mash 1 banana and then add enough milk to make one cup. In fact I usually add more milk to the batter after it is mixed because I like my batter thinner for these pancakes. Just depends on your personal taste. I also add a little ground Cinnamon to mine just because I love the why is smells and I think it makes them all the more yummy.
To make this super simple I just mix all the dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl then make a well in the center and add the wet ingredients. I whisk the wet ingredients together in the middle and then slowly mix the dry into the wet. That probably didn't make any sense...Mainly I'm just trying to save a mixing bowl. Anyways it takes seconds to make these puppies and they are delicious. I never knew it was so easy to make pancakes from scratch until a couple years ago when someone shared this recipe with me and now I never buy the mixes.
If you have a big family or super hungry kids you better make a double batch!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The original recipe is listed below, I had to make changes to it because of Atty's many food sensitivities. I'm sure the original is just as yummy though if not yummier (is yummier a word?)
Banana bread (I know what your thinking but this is no ordinary banana bread.)
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
3 large eggs
2 cups sugar
1 1/3 cups vegetable oil
2 tbsp pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups ripe mashed banana
1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1/2 cup buttermilk
nonstick cooking spray
Preheat oven to 350 (makes two loafs or you can use one 9 by 12 cake pan or muffin tins like I do.) I don't use nonstick cooking spray so I just lightly greased the pan with grape seed oil (or what ever high heat oil you use). Set pan aside.
In a medium size mixing bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda and salt then set aside.
In another large mixing bowl beat with an electric mixer the eggs, sugar, and veggie oil on med-low speed- then beat in the flour mixture. Add the vanilla, banana, coconuts and butter milk and beat just until combined.
Bake for 60-65 minutes.
Now with Atty I can't use any wheat, gluten, dairy or coconut so....
*I substituted the flour for 2 cup rice flour + 1 cup almond flour for a total of 3 cups.
*I leave out the coconut (and it's still yummy).
*I admit though I am too scared to use rice milk in place of the buttermilk, but I don't ever have buttermilk on hand so I just use the substitute for that, sour milk. For this recipe I use 1/2 tablespoon of vinegar and then add enough milk to make a 1/2 cup (let it sit for at least 5 minutes). I got this idea from a Betty Crocker Cookbook. In that book to make sour milk it's a tablespoon of vinegar and then add enough milk to make one cup. It works well, and even though Atty isn't suppose to have dairy it's such a little amount that it doesn't seem to bother him.
*I also used grape seed oil instead of vegetable oil, I think it makes the bread all the more yummy! Plus I feel that it is a bit better for us, so I try to use it as often as possible as a replacement for regular ole veggie oil.
*I also use about 2 cups mashed banana, because I think it makes the bread a little more moist.
*I use around 1 1/2 cups sugar instead of 2, just because.
*Since I don't use coconut I add ground spices to mine like Cinnamon, Ginger, Nutmeg, and Clove. Some or all depending on how I feel. I'm a moody cook. ;)
*I also don't cook mine for 60 minutes, mine cooks way faster then that but it could be because of the flours I'm using. Keep an eye on yours though and take it out if it starts to get too brown, you don't want to over cook this one. One of the things that makes it so yummy is how moist it is.
This recipe calls for way more sugar and oil then I would normally use, but it really does make it yummy so I waver in my convictions I suppose.
So there you go, I sure hope you try it. If I could I would make you all some because it's so delicious everyone should have a chance to taste it. Oh and if you want to make it more like a dessert or coffee cake add Cinnamon sugar or brown sugar to the top before you put it in the oven (if you're not using the coconut, otherwise that might be nasty).
Monday, June 22, 2009
If you are a praying person and you feel like praying for a stranger I sure could use your prayers. Because when things get like this I feel like crawling into bed, pulling the covers up over my head and never coming out. Of course I can't do that because I have a bunch of little blessings running around the house that need their mother, so I need to find the strength to keep on going even if things seem impossible right now.
I rewrote this post about a million times and then couldn't decide whether to post it or not, and then I figured I spent so much time writing and deleting I might as well post it. What we are dealing with here is very personal and not something I can really write about and what I can write about sounds stupid and meaningless, but just know that I needed to vent, even if I could only vent a little bit.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
It always starts out well. As I am going through the store looking for the deals yet making sure to buy healthy. We are big on whole grains and organics which of course cost more, but make me feel good about the choices I am making. Until I go to pay that is! Organic milk for instance, almost six dollars a gallon! I have to buy half organic and half regular milk and just alternate between the two because I flat out can't afford it! I rarely buy name brand, unless it's a better deal. I seldom buy prepared foods. I buy little meat, because I don't cook (because I myself don't eat) cows or pigs. We eat a lot of rice and beans that I buy in bulk and we still end up spending around 250.00 a week in groceries or more. This seems like a lot to me. Am I wrong? I am thrifty and I hate spending money if I don't have to so maybe I am just hating having to shell out so much money just to go back in a week and shell out some more. Oh and then there is also Atty's food allergies. He is allergic to wheat, gluten, dairy, soy, and coconut so far. We still have to do the elimination diet for corn and eggs. Do you have any idea how hard it is to shop and cook when you have to keep that food out? I often have to make a whole separate menu just for him. The specialty food is so much more expensive too, it's outrageous. A lot of the times he doesn't even really like it, which ends up being an waste of food and money. I don't blame him though some of it is really gross.
Being pregnant and hormonal I almost cried yesterday when I did my usually shopping trip. It's just so frustrating, we don't even buy many extras (if any) and we still end up spending so much on food. I know I am mostly stressed because my husband is laid off again but still. I know that we can live off of rice and bean we have many times, but I prefer to feed my boys well rounded healthy meals. Maybe I should just stop looking at the total and just pay with my eyes closed? Any ideas...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The love I felt for R was (and is) immeasurable.
Seeing that same love reflected in his eyes meant the world to me. I have always felt connected to him but I didn't realize something had been missing until that moment. Standing there declaring our ongoing commitment to each other I truly feel complete. We had included the words "you complete me" in our wedding vows and it felt so go to say. We wrote our own vows and every word was straight from the heart.
Sealed with a kiss.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A week over due with baby number two!
Just to warn you the following is Spikes birth story, and has some detail straight out of my journal. If you are squeamish about that sort of thing you might not want to read this extremely long post.
Finally Baby! Spending the day at the park did the trick! It was a warm day and I soaked my feet in the cool water at the lake. Ate lots of food, especially watermelon and lots of walking. I was getting contractions and they felt different then before. Toward the end of the day I told Ryder this, he felt we should go home, and it had been a long day so I agreed.
A few hours after we got home my water broke, so after waiting a bit to make sure it was the real thing, I told Ryder to call my mom and Iva and let them know that tonight was the night, there was no going back cause my water was really leaking out by then.
Iva showed up around 10 pm, my mom was going straight to the clinic because she had a long drive, my contractions were getting really regular and all of the sudden I got an urge to clean. I freaked out. I refused to leave until the house was spotless.
Ryder and Iva started helping me and we were all cleaning together and Iva and Ryder started laughing at me cause here I was having contractions and leaking and obviously going into labor and I was rushing around cleaning up the house! I started vacuuming and every time I got a contraction I stopped and waited tell it was over and then I would start vacuuming again. My midwife called back and said that I should come in right away, but I wanted to finish cleaning the house so she said I could but that I really should come as soon a possible. Ryder and Iva thought we should leave but I wasn’t done vacuuming and I didn’t feel that the house was clean enough yet so I didn’t want to leave. Ryder and Iva looked so worried that it was kind of funny, but I really didn’t care about any thing but a clean house at the time. By the time I was done vacuuming the contractions were coming on strong so Ryder started packing up the kids, they were so sleepy. I was on the couch because the contraction were really intense and I felt like I couldn’t move. Ryder came and got me last and helped me out to the van, there was a quiet excitement in the air. On the drive over the contractions were not as bad and I felt kind of peaceful, it was nice that the big day, or should I say night, was finally here. It was a pretty night and we were driving on back roads and Ryder had a nap time cd playing, my favorite one, and I wasn’t scared at all. I thought I would be but I wasn’t, I felt really at peace. I heard later that Ryder was flying over those back road and Iva was white knuckling it the whole way following him, but I didn't notice, I was to busy staring out the window and soaking it all in. I was so excited to finally get to have a natural birth (after the C-section with Bubu). The night was warm and kind of bright, and every thing seemed cozy as we walked into the clinic, my mom was already there. The only disappointing thing was when they checked me, I was only 2 centimeters! I felt so much farther along then that. At that point I started to feel a little worried that this was going to last for a long time. But everything was so intense that I didn’t think about that for long. I couldn’t get in the tub yet cause it was to early so I decided to take a shower.
When I got out things were pretty intense, all I wanted to do was lay down on the bed, and that’s were I stayed, for the most part. Ryder was in the room at first, but he feel asleep and his arm started to twitch on my head, and it irritated me so I asked him to go get Iva. He stayed out of the room the rest of the night, and Iva and my mom took turns comforting me. Kim, my midwifes assistant at the time, stayed with me the whole night. I really liked her so I was glad she was the one to stay with me. I didn’t talk to any one much at all, I was focused on controlling my voice and keeping my noises low and opening myself up. I threw up a lot, that was no fun at all, but in a weird way it felt good, and I knew it was also helping me to open up so I just focused on that and didn’t let it bother me to much. I kept my eyes closed most of the time. I wanted to be checked half way through the night, but they didn’t want to check me to much cause of my water being broken, so they told me to wait. Every one thought I was going to take a long time, because of were I was when they checked me the first time. I just wanted to get in the tub and I knew I needed to be 5 centimeter to do that and I felt like I had to be close to that cause the contractions were non stop. Then the light started to shine out side and I could hear birds singing and everything felt surreal. The contractions had been intense all night, more then any one seemed to realize, and I heard my mom and Kim talking about getting me up later for a walk to keep things going, because it was going to be such a nice day. I thought they were crazy because I could barely keep on top of the contractions and I felt delirious. I realized that no one really understood were I was when Kim told me to breath between contractions and rest and I knew that was impossible cause there was no in between. Then I started to lose it, I hurt so bad, this is the only time I started to get loud, I started to say out loud how much it hurt, cause I felt like no one understood where I was since I had been so quiet, except for the deep sounds I had been making. They told me to switch positions so I did and that’s when I felt like I needed to push, it was a strange sensation. So I told Kim, and I could tell she didn’t really believe me, but I insisted and so she went to tell the midwifes. My midwife finally came, she obviously wasn’t in much of a rush, and she checked me and everyone was surprised to find out that I was 8 to 9 centimeters! Except for me, I knew I was ready to go. So then I wanted in the bath tub, cause I wanted to be sure to have a water birth, and they started filling up the tub. It couldn’t fill up fast enough I wanted in so bad! Finally I got in and it felt wonderful and I started pushing right away. The head was down low and everyone was getting excited. Then it seemed like something was going wrong and I started to feel scared for the first time. Because his head was right there but he wasn’t coming out. I was so tired by this time cause I had been up most the night. The labor had been so intense the whole time that I hadn’t had any rest in between. I was trying to push, but I couldn’t seem to do more then one or two pushes at a time and I couldn’t hold my breath and push for more then the count of about five. I was drained. I kept straining and pushing and I could feel the intense pressure and stretching of his head but he just wouldn’t come out. At one point, for the first time during my labor, I worried about my uterus rupturing, and felt a little fear (because of my previous C-section). I was afraid of straining to hard because of this, also I knew the harder I pushed the more hemorrhoids I would have, and even though this shouldn’t have been on my mind, it did cross it for a moment (seriously it did, haha!). The midwives felt like I wasn’t in a good position, and my legs weren’t wide or high enough so they wanted me to get out of the tub. I again felt like they were crazy, and I didn’t want to get out. I could see the concern on their faces though and everything seemed very serious at that moment. So as they were discussing how to get me out of the tub, I decided I wasn’t getting out and I started pushing harder then ever and with great determination. I had this feeling that my unborn child's life and health, as well as my own, was literally up to me at that very moment, and that I must call upon every fiber of my being, and the strength that only a women in labor can have. It was not a voice, I was beyond thinking, it was a knowing, a primal motherly knowledge, an instinctual feeling of my child’s life being in danger.
I heard some one call out to get the mid wives attention and tell them that I was pushing and I heard every thing get really frantic at once and Kim jumped into the tub and every one gathered around and with one great big push that felt like my eyes would pop out of my head out came Ira. I can not even properly describe the power or energy that surrounded me at that very moment. He was put on my chest and he was a grayish blue and had such a cone head. Then everything started to speed up, and I could tell that some thing was wrong.
They started telling me to talk to and rub by baby and they were putting a tube down his throat and getting the oxygen. I knew they were trying to get me to get him going and he didn’t seem to be breathing.
I was so scared at that very moment. Time stood still for him and I and sped by around us at the same time. I can’t even explain it. I heard nothing but the hum of commotion and I felt like I could barely breath.
Then he started to breath and I felt myself take a breath with him and he moved and I started to cry because I was so relieved and I looked up at Ryder for the first time.
I knew he was an *** (his real name isn't Spike, shocking!) when I was looking at him nurse and I told my husband what I felt and he agreed. I think at that point he would have agreed with any name, or anything for that matter, he was so blown away by the whole thing. He had dark hair, he actually had hair! He was so dark in comparison to Bubu from his skin to his eyes and hair it was almost shocking.