Wednesday, December 10, 2008

All I wanted for Christmas this year was...

So I have mentioned before that one of my boys is my heart child, I was blessed with him when he was only six days old. He is my brother and his wife's child by birth, so I would have been his aunt. Well I guess technically I am still his aunt, but I have been *mommy* for almost two years now, and we are adopting him, so it will all be solidified soon.

We have been working on the adoption process for what seems like forever now. It was looking like it would be complete by December, and I was so Excited because you Can't Get A Better Christmas Present Then That, but now it's NOT going to be complete tell some time after his second birthday. His birthday is in February, so that's not much longer but still it's so frustrating, it seems like a never ending process. I was just told that I have to redo paperwork, because the process has taken too long, that is just annoying.

It's all worth it, but I can't say that I would ever want to go through these never ending hoops of fire again. We were discussing maybe doing the foster to adopt thing one more time, but I don't think my sanity would stay intact. We contemplated taking the second child that they had right after my boy, but she ran away to Montana, and he ended up in a wonderful foster family there, that wants to adopt him. She is supposedly unable now to have any more children, but I guess time will tell on that one. His brother is really adorable, it's hard to know that my boy's have another brother (and yes I consider him a brother to all my boys too) that we have yet to meet, but I hope some day, by keeping in contact with them that this will be possible.

I understand why they have you do all that you do to adopt, but it does seem unbalanced. I mean anyone can have a kid (meaning there is no paperwork to fill out, no proving that you will be a good parent.) and unfortunately lots cannot raise them well or at all. Then there are many who want to adopt, but the process is so complicated and expensive that it makes it difficult to actually do it. Foster to adopt is less expensive, but just as complicated, if not more complicated. I know there really isn't any solution to this, and of course we have to make sure that the placement is safe for the child.

I can't help but feel right now though that the whole process if way more complicated (and Expensive!) then it needs to be.


smiles4u said...

I'm sorry that the adoption won't be final in time for Christmas. I do realize that they have to take precautions on who they let adopt but I do think it's a little over the top to make people that they already know fit the job jump through so many hoops...and not to mention the costs. So I agree it's unbalanced but what do you do but jump through the hoops so that you can do what your heart tells you to do.
I hope that it is final soon! Bless your beautiful family.

Kat said...

I completely agree! Adoption should be FAR more affordable for those that want to adopt. My brother and his wife would LOVE to adopt but it is just SO EXPENSIVE. It is HORRIBLE!

You have a big beautiful heart. :)

Melody said...

Wow it really does seem like the process has been dragging on forever! I'm sorry it won't be complete by Christmas, but I am so happy to hear that at least it WILL happen! You are the perfect family for him, and I know how much you love him! You have had to go through so much through this whole thing!!

I really wish we could adopt... I found a local church that actually does FREE adoptions! You have to volunteer a lot of your time and talents, and go to hours and hours of classes, instead of paying. It's something we're considering, but it's hard to know the right time to do it! We want to be more financially stable, but will that ever happen? Maybe we should just go for it :)