Friday, November 7, 2008


I was struck by what different personalities all three of my boys have when we were out on a walk the other night.

The boys were all a little stir crazy because we hadn't had a chance yet to go outside, so I put dinner in the oven and suggested a quick walk outside. The boys love going on walks so we hurried to get all bundled up because it was already dark, and it's getting a lot colder out as the days go by.

We stepped outside and were greeted by wind and rain, guess I should have looked outside first before suggesting a walk! The boys didn't mind though, they were in awe, we don't normally go for walks after dark. I love walks at night, always have. Something about the dark night sky, like a blanket thrown over the earth, everything just seems more peaceful, soothing in some way. I've always loved the wind, it's so energizing, even like the rain, most of the time. When I was a kid I loved playing outside in the rain. It felt wonderful to be out breathing in the fresh air, I felt that child-like awe of the world around me.

I was thinking about all of this as we started to walk and then I tuned into my children and noticed that Bubu was chattering away, "where is the moon", "it's so windy", "I like the wind", "were is the lightening", and on and on and on...he is so inquisitive. So curious about the world around him, and yet cautious, staying close to my side, listening to me when I tell him to follow the safety rules. He doesn't just talk, he wants answers. He will question those answers, he will give answers of his own. He remembers things from long ago that I would think he would have forgotten, that I had already forgotten about telling him. His memory amazes me, it reminds me that he really is listening, always. He was so excited to be out on a walk, with so many new things to question.

Atty on the other hand is immediately running down the sidewalk into the dark without a care in the world. Not a second though, no hesitation, no looking back to see were I am. He just tucks his head down and runs as fast as he can. Only my hollering repetitively, threatening to carry him the rest of the way, while dashing after him, slows him down. He turns to me with the biggest grin on his face, fully enjoying himself in this wild, windy, rainy night. He is absolutely fearless...most of the time. In fact I swear the boy looks for danger. He has an adventurist spirit. His enthusiasm for exploration never ceases.

Then there is Spike, on this walk he was unsure of himself, not wanting to walk alone. When the wind would blow he would cling to my leg, in the dark he reached out for my finger. The little baby in him came out, and he wanted his mommy near for reassurance. Often he acts as if he needs to assert his independence and let us all know that he may be the littlest, but he is no longer little. He hates being the baby, will dissolve into tears if I dare to cut his food up into little pieces, normal refuses to walk if I try to hold his hand and likes to run in the opposite direction constantly. He is consistently contradicting himself, at times clinging to me like a little koala baby, and then sprinting from me the next. He will ask to be picked up and then struggle in my arms. He wants my reassurance, and yet wants to assert his independence. He is such a mixture of so many things.

All three of them are so amazing, and watching them as they develop their own individual personality is so fascinating to me. Nothing ever works the same for all three of them, I constantly have to change my game plan from one to the next. I guess that's what keeps it exciting, or is it the fishing of various items out of the toilet on a daily basis?

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