Happy anniversary

The big day was four years ago now. Seems a lot longer then that since I met him so long ago. We committed to each other way before we actually got married...it took us a while. He proposed to me at the very same spot on the river the year before on the exact same date. Here is a little bit straight out of my journal from that day when he proposed.

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We walked out onto a log that was hanging over the river and sat down side by side. We were looking around and taking in the view and listening to the sound of the river. R started talking about how the river would be a beautiful place to get married and such and I remember sort of thinking it was an odd subject to bring up, but I was still oblivious. I was excited about finally getting my daycare license the day before (and thinking about that). After all that stress I was just enjoying being able to relax at the river. I was agreeing with him and we were chit-chatting and he said he wanted to be able to call me his wife and I said "buddy that's sweet, I want to be able to call you my husband." At that moment he took my hand and said "will you marry me?" During this time I was getting ready to tease him about a ring which is something J and I had been doing lately. So I said "of course I would marry you..." and I was getting ready to say more when he said "oh good because I got you this and he pulled the most beautiful white gold three stone diamond ring out of his pocket. I was in shock. The first thing I said was "are you serious" then I said that a few more times, and he asked which hand the ring went on and I started crying as I showed him which one and he held it and stared into my eyes and said again "will you marry me?" I said "yes!" Then I said "I thought you'd never ask me!" (Because I stupidly told him years before that I would never get married, and I would tell him no if he asked. Nothing against him I was just scared of the whole thing.) I was crying and laughing and scared the ring was going to fall into the river. He got it on my finger and I gave him the biggest best hug ever and I was shaking and I felt good to the very core of my being. I was on top of the moon and it was surreal! I never knew that one moment in your life could feel so good. I remember the sound of the river, the feel of the wind, the mountains and evergreen trees around us, the smell of nature and the look of pure love on R face. I could feel it on my own and I knew our hearts were beating together as the sun began to sink and twilight settled in.

Aren't I corny. It was such a wonderful day though and the wedding day one year later was just as amazing. I had such butterflies in my stomach! J walked me up to R while the song Build to Last by Tom Petty (my favorite) was playing. We have so many pictures from that day that I didn't write it down in a journal, it's as clear as a bell in my head. We stood and listened as the song finished, and I soaked it all in. The river, the mountains, the sound of the birds singing in the background my soon to be husband standing before me. It was a super tiny wedding (four other adults and two kids + the really sweet lady who married us). My sister, knowing how much I love daisies stopped and picked wild daisies on the way to the wedding and made crowns for us to wear. I had already had one made for me by a florist along with a daisy bouquet, she didn't know this. R wore his though and she wore the other one. It ended up being the perfect touch.

The whole wedding was so much more wonderful then I ever could have imagined.
The love I felt for R was (and is) immeasurable.
Seeing that same love reflected in his eyes meant the world to me. I have always felt connected to him but I didn't realize something had been missing until that moment. Standing there declaring our ongoing commitment to each other I truly feel complete. We had included the words "you complete me" in our wedding vows and it felt so go to say. We wrote our own vows and every word was straight from the heart.
Sealed with a kiss.

Wasn't J the cutest. He was so proud to be able to walk with me up to R and be included in the wedding. Wouldn't have had it any other way. He has always been a huge part of our lives.

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So now it is our anniversary, and so much has happened in the last four years. We were talking about it last night and we can hardly believe how much has gone on. It's almost overwhelming. We have been through a lot and there is a lot more to come. Looking back over how we have weathered it through the years though and how much we have learned about each other I feel we are well equipped to stand strong together even in the biggest storm.

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This is a poem I wrote to him nine years ago and I still feel this way to this day.

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you are my love

my soul mate

my friend

from the beginning of time

we were meant to be together

with our hearts in twined

and our minds in tune

you are my love

my soul mate

my friend

you are my rock

in a ragging river

you are my light

at the end of a long hard road

you are my love

my soul mate

my friend

when I am sad

you kiss away my tears

you make me laugh

when my head is clouded with fears

you are my love

my soul mate

my friend

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Looking forward to another year.