Monday, June 22, 2009

There is no title for this one...

Things are a bit stressful over here. I won't go into it too much, because I've learned my lesson about blogging when emotional (I think), but lets just say my husband has lost his marbles. On top of being laid off and under financial strain in addition to another baby on the way, his mother is dying from cancer at age 50 and he is having a hard time keeping it together. He copes with stress by withdrawing from us all and going back into some old patterns that are hurtful to all involved including himself, it's always very upsetting to me...he has been in an extremely selfish mode the last couple weeks. I have drawn his attention to it, and he seems to be coming up for air, so I'm hoping we can work together as one again soon. In the mean time I am stressed to the max and feeling a bit depressed. I want to be there for him, but because of his behaviour as of late, I am angry with him also. It's overwhelming to feel so conflicted.


If you are a praying person and you feel like praying for a stranger I sure could use your prayers. Because when things get like this I feel like crawling into bed, pulling the covers up over my head and never coming out. Of course I can't do that because I have a bunch of little blessings running around the house that need their mother, so I need to find the strength to keep on going even if things seem impossible right now.

I rewrote this post about a million times and then couldn't decide whether to post it or not, and then I figured I spent so much time writing and deleting I might as well post it. What we are dealing with here is very personal and not something I can really write about and what I can write about sounds stupid and meaningless, but just know that I needed to vent, even if I could only vent a little bit.

3 comments:

Lisa said...

Praying for you...

Mama said...

You poor girl. Hang in there. Moms are the strength of the family and you have a lot of support.

Kat said...

Of course you are both in my prayers. It sounds like you and hubby are under an enormous amount of stress.