I miss this boy so bad it hurts.I've written before about why he means so much to me, if you want to read about it go here. So much has happened since that post. He lived with his mom for about a year and then she got sick with cancer and died soon after. Now he is living with his sister, she wanted it that way, and my hubby felt it was best, but I have a lot of mixed emotions about the whole thing. I mean I've loved him since birth, I raised him for almost seven years, he was my first baby, I've felt like a piece of the puzzle is missing ever since he's been gone. For some reason the holidays are the worse, I've cried a few times already and I know it's just going to get worse as Christmas gets closer. We went to visit them last weekend, it's about two hours away and we just don't see them enough because of it. He saw his new niece for the first time. He was so sweet to her, it brought tears to my eyes. The boys were so happy to see him, they miss him all the time. He towers over me now, the same boy who's diapers I changed years and years ago. I snuggled into his body instead of him into mine. I hugged him over and over again, and he let me, which is not his normal teenage self. He told me he loved me and missed me quite a few times and it warmed my heart every time he said it. I cried on the way home, I think I always will when ever I am driving away from him. Cause every mile seems so harsh.
5 hours ago