The moment a child is born...

My first born son turns four today. Four years ago today, September 2nd 2005 I became a mommy. He turned my hubby and I into a family. He gave us the first time title of mommy and daddy, something we will now be for the rest of our lives. He started it all. I can remember staying up all night just staring at him, thinking about what it was going to be like watching him grow up and all my hopes and dreams for him. That feeling when you first become a parent is amazing. Every child is amazing, but I feel like your first is something truly unique, the feelings of a first time parent are practically indescribable. There is a poem I love that goes like this.

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The moment a child is born

the mother is also born.

She never existed before.

The women existed, but the mother, never.

A mother is something absolutely new.

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A whole new world for me as it was for him. We took our first breaths together as mommy and son. The adventure had begun, a brand new path in life waiting to be traveled.

This is the next day at the hospital, still staring at him. Big and beautiful. 10 lbs 10.5 oz. Shoulders up to his ears, frog legs from being breach, no neck, just a solid baby.

Out in the sunshine, a couple days old. Snuggled up and sleepy.

Sleeping on the daddy. He was such a chunk!

Bubu's first birthday, cake face! Little did we all know he was about to be a big brother, times two! With in months of his first birthday I found out I was pregnant and our heart child was placed with us at six days old. Through it all Bubu dealt with it in his gentle peaceful way. He embraced it all. A natural big brother.

Bubu's second birthday, see him eyeing the celery...he has cake right in front of him that you can't see but he also has broccoli clutched in his hand and he's craving some celery...he's always loved his veggies. He was such an adorable two years old, didn't even bother with the "terrible twos." An out going and pleasant personality.

Here he is on his third birthday, another cake face. A wonderful big brother and son. He could have made things much more difficult on me, having three children three and under but he didn't. Always the helper, caring, loving and kind. Even though he saved the "terrible twos" for his third year, it was nothing, barely a fuss.

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Now he is turning four. How the years have flown by.

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I love you son, seeing you grow up and turn into your own little person with all your likes and dislikes has been amazing. Your insights, your vocabulary, your wit fill my life with joy, most days ;). I love being able to have conversations with you now, to hear your take on things, to see things from your perspective. You are such a wonderful, caring, loving son and brother. We are so lucky to have you in our lives. I marvel at who you are and know that who ever you become, it will no doubt be magnificent. Your dad and I still aren't sure what we did to end up with such a wonderful you but we sure are thankful beyond words. We are so thankful that God chose us to be your parents. You have taught us so much, more I think then we have managed to teach you! I look forward to learning with you through the years.

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HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!

Pictures, pictures and more pictures, seriously way to many pictures...

Baby shower pictures! This is just the last half of the baby shower when someone else reminded me about my camera. Unfortunately my camera was on a horrible setting and seems to be failing also so most of the pictures that my friend took ended up being really blurry, oh well.

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What a wonderful day! I felt truly blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends. There have been times in my life, when I was much younger, were I felt completely alone. There has never been another time in my life that I have felt such love from so many. My life is full right now, and I am surrounded by so many loving, generous, talented, funny, compassionate, supportive women. Having so many of my loved ones in the same place at the same time was over whelming...in a good way! It made me realize how truly lucky I am and how far my life has come from were it was. To me just having all my friends there to show me how special I am to them was what mattered the most. A couple of my friends drove over two hours to come to my baby shower, one of my friends came even though it was her birthday, some of my friends drove somewhere else to drop off older kids and then drove to my baby shower just to make sure we could have girl time. My husband took all three of the boys to the Children's Museum (alone!) so that I could have a moment kid free with my girlfriends. Friends brought delicious food, an overwhelming amount of gifts, kind words and love. Two of my friends stayed up until after midnight the night before to make me a beautiful cake and a super awesome diaper cake packed full baby clothes, cloth diaper and much, much more! I had told all the girls that gently loved clothes were perfectly fine with me, and lots of my friends have had baby girls recently, so I ended up with an enormous amount of adorable baby girl clothes, I am swimming in them right now! We had fun just chatting and loving up the three little baby girls that were there, playing a couple fun games, eating LoTs of good food and looking at all the cute girl stuff that everyone brought. The party lasted for Hours and I loved every minute of it...and now on to pictures. :)

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One adorable baby girl.

and another.

Oh and yet another adorable baby girl, my little niece. I have no idea what I am looking at.

Opening presents.

My "little" sister and my soon to be sister in law.

More presents.

Food! The little boy in the picture was the only boy there and he was so well behaved!

Oh My Goodness, more presents!!

...and more...

Fabric from my other sister in law, looks like I am going with the red themed fabric for my little strawberry's quilt.

A super funny book I got.

A Moby Wrap, super excited to use one of these this time instead of the sling I used with the boys. I ended up with two Moby Wraps in different colors, how cool is that.

Giddy over girly clothes.

Don't know what the serious face was about, someone brought me a different sort of cloth diaper then I am use to and I think they were explaining it to me. They seem pretty cool, the G diapers, less bulky then the ones I've used previously.

I used baby girl onsies hung up with clothes pins for decoration.

These cute litte baby girls stole the show, they were talking to each other, it was really adorable.

Eating... the girl sitting on the far left by the window has been my friend since 5th grade!

My mom and my little niece.

More baby girl pictures, aren't they just adorable.

This is the cake my friend stayed up all night making, wow huh! She is super talented.

An adorable outfit.

...and another...

...and another...

...and another...

I just love this one, my mom found it...I think it's perfect!

...and finally there is this one. My friend made it. She has a blog here, and a link to her Etsy shop on her blog, check it out she is seriously talented and I have never been disappointed by anything I have ever ordered from her. I luck out because she also just makes me awesome things for gifts, and I am always excited to see what she has come up with. This little gem is too cute for words. It's a little monkey print top with a diaper cover that has ruffles on the back and matching monkey slippers. I can not wait to put my little baby girl in this and take some super cute pictures!

Just look at those ruffles...oh so cute!

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So there you have it, if you made it all the way through this post then you're awesome too!

A whole new level.

I would get down to my kids level more often but...................it's really dirty down there! ;)

I have been cleaning like a maniac. Partially because I am at that stage in my pregnancy were I want everything perfectly organized and clean to sparkling at all times, and also because my baby shower is this Saturday and I am a freak about my house being put together before people come over. I cleaned all day again yesterday and the house was looking quite nice if I do say so myself, then I bent down to talk to Bubu and while I was listening to what he was saying I glanced over at the wall by the back door and noticed a whole new world of dirt! Months of sticky hands touching the walls down low. I guess since it was below my eye level and I'm not as flexible and bendable as I once was right now it had completely evaded me and my frantic cleaning. Once I saw that though, I noticed much, much more and once again I was thrown into a cleaning frenzy that left me breathless (not hard to do right now). My husband is not working today and I came up with millions of things I need him to do as I was wandering around the house cleaning and organizing yesterday, isn't he lucky?!! I already had him fixing the bathroom, painting a wall and steam cleaning my carpets this week, hey if he's going to be home I'm putting him to work no use having a strong capable man just sitting around (like he ever gets to do that). Now I must stop blogging because I am sure there is much more that I need to clean, plan and prep before tomorrow.

Melt down then get it together...

Last night I threw my hands up in the air, declared, "I'm taking a bath", went into the bathroom turned on the water and proceeded to bawl like a baby. Because I'm tired. Everything hurts. It's overwhelming. I can't even keep up with my own schedule at this point, and it's all down hill from her until well after the baby is born. I've been hitting a wall around 5 pm, I am on the go all day long, keeping up with what needs to be done for the most part, but by evening I am burnt out and sore and I just want to be done, but there is always so much more that is left undone no matter how I wore myself out during the day. My belly is huge, I can't get around like normal, my feet ache, my back aches, I can't sleep right, it goes on and on. So I cried. Because I needed a good cry, even if there wasn't a specific reason. Even if it was just a pregnant melt down. I'm perpetually exhausted right now, and I'm like a little child that way, when I'm too tired I just need a good long cry about nothing, or everything, which ever way you want to look at it. I finished up my short bath as my sobs melted away, got out and went straight back to doing what needed to be done. Because we all know that just because we don't want to do it doesn't mean it goes away, and I don't know about you but when I put things off they just pile up and it gets worse and worse, right?! A good hard cry is sometimes just what I need to keep going. Melt down in the shower (it was a bath last night because that's how tired I am I didn't even want to stand up) and then get it together and get back to work, that's my mode of operation. What do you do when things get too overwhelming?

My life in a nut shell

It was a long week.

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All the regular every day busyness of raising three boys three and under, and caring for three additional childcare kids for an average of 12 hours a day all together. On any given day I have 6 kids in my house under the age of 6, most of them boys! The cooking, the cleaning, the dishes that never stop, the (messy) projects, the story reading, playing with, refereeing, bum wiping, laundry, constant picking up after, and multi-tasking a million different mini-catastrophes in 24 hours is a repetitive never ending process. Add to that the scrap booking I have been trying to catch up on, and the HuGe batch of apple sauce I made this week, the apple crisp, more apple sauce, and the peaches I prepped for the freezer, and you have one over whelming week for a pregnant lady. Then like the cherry on top of this chaos pie add to that this end of the week experience.

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I had to do my grocery shopping last night as tired as I was. I have a busy weekend ahead and knew I would never be able to get it done before the weekend was over. So after I waited patiently (ha, ha) for my husband to get home and shower so that I could leave I hurried out the door. List in hand I crawled into the van, it was around 6 :30 and I hadn't eaten dinner first. Not a good idea. Got to the grocery store and moved robot style through the isle grabbing what I needed. Filled the cart to the max as usual and pushed it along on aching feet to the check out counter. Lady starts ringing up my groceries, small chat, lie and say I'm feeling great, how about her? Reach into my purse and at the same time get the sinking feeling that my wallet isn't in there. Yeah. A good portion of my groceries are rung up at this point. I blurt out that my wallet isn't in my purse while I am still frantically looking for a wallet that I know isn't in there, and that I need to check my van. This has never happened to me before. I was mortified, the lady was so sweet though and said she would just save them for me. I told her I might have to go all the way home (which I did!) and she was still sweet. So home I rushed at almost 8 pm to find my wallet, I might have started to hyperventilate and I was definitely sobbing when I flew into the house frantic for my wallet which I had left on the top of the computer desk after ordering a present for Bubu's up coming birthday. My husband offered to go back but I was so freaked out when I left the store that I couldn't remember what check stand I had been at and only remembered what the oh so kind lady looked like. So I had to walk back into the store, swollen eyes and all (at least I had been able to force myself to stop crying on the way back) and pay and wait for the groceries to be hauled back up front. So. Stinkin. Embarrassing. I know I looked like a crazy pregnant mess at that point, and I was starting to feel dizzy because I needed to eat and I was still choking back tears and trying to put a fake smile on my face. Horrid. Got home, helped put kids to bed because now it was past bedtime for them, before I finally got to eat at 9, what a night. Nothing ever seems to be simple in my life I swear.

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Next time someone asks me what I do for work I am going to tell them I am a multi-tasking, mini-catastrophe handling manager of a large Enterprise. I take no vacations, or sick days and I work 14-24 hours a day 365 days a year...no wonder I can't keep my head on straight! Ahhhhh...now I like that...that made me feel just a little bit better. If I had thought of that while I was standing in the grocery store last night I might not have felt so frustrated with myself.

:)

it's offical

So when your kids make up a game where they creep up to you until you give them the "look" because you are trying to clean the house and then they run away screaming..."monster, monster"....over and over again, that should tell you something right?

I think I have officially hit the grumpy pregnant mommy mark.

phantom rabbit

Last night I was roused out of sleep feeling like something woke me up and with the words "peek a boo, I see you" echoing in my head. Since I have to pee every hour or so right now I figured I must of been having a weird pregnancy dream at the same time that my bladder was calling to me so I forced myself out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. The phrase I heard a moment before kept repeating it's self in my head though and I starting thinking about how that would make for a really scary movie. Then I heard it again for real and I kid you not my heart leaped out of my body! It was coming from Spike's (new) room directly across the hall from the bathroom. It was this high pitch creepy little kiddish voice coming from behind his door. Did I mention I am still afraid of the dark at 30 something? Yeah. I gulped my fear and pushed open his door, nothing to see, all is quiet. I noticed that Spike had rolled off his mattress that is on the floor right now and was sleeping next to his bed, so I leaned over to move him back onto the bed and that freaking voice sets in again with a "peek a boo I see you" and I swear I wanted to start punching anything, the air if need be. Then I saw it, Spike was laying on a little stuffed bunny toy that apparently repeats that very phase every time it is pushed. So every time he rustled around he was making it go off. Ugggg! I hate talking toys!!

Let me assure you that no one wants to wake up to a creepy voice randomly repeating "peek a boo I see you" even if you're not afraid of the dark.

Sort of like apple cobbler...with a twist.

So I often end up with giant zucchini that is basically not edible as is. You know the kind that gets all tough and seedy, looks cool, tastes nasty. Mostly from failure to check my garden on a regular basis. A few years ago I ended up with a recipe for these giant vegetables that started saving them from my compost bin. When my neighbor first shared this recipe with me I wasn't so sure about it but I tried it anyways and boy am I glad I did. I hate wasting food, it seriously drives me crazy. So with that in mind and my serious sweet tooth I give you the following recipe for..............zucchini cobbler.......................weird right? As proof that this is worth making I give you photographic evidence, below is a table full of children gobbling up the cobbler, some even finishing and asking for more before I could even snap the picture! Course I didn't really tell them exactly what it was as they started gobbling (I wasn't born yesterday!) but none the less. Yummy! Zucchini cobbler-
8 cups zucchini
3/4 cups sugar
3 tbsp flour
a dash of salt
Cinnamon, more or less to taste
1 tsp cream of tartar
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 (10 ounce) can crushed pineapple
1 box apple oat bran muffin mix (I found this in the Krusteaz brand)
1/2 cup butter melted
1/2 cup nuts chopped (optional)

Peel and cut zucchini lengthwise, strip out the seeds, cut into 1/2 inch pieces. Cook til tender. Drain. Cool in cold water. Drain. Add sugar, flour, salt, cinnamon, cream of tartar and lemon juice. Stir. Add pineapple with the juice and mix. Pour in a greased 9 by 13 baking dish. Spread dry muffin mix over the top. Drizzle the melted butter over the mix and sprinkle the nuts on top. Bake at 350 for 60 minutes.

The tougher the zucchini the better because then they don't get to mushy when cooked. The whole thing ends up tasting like an apple cobbler...with a twist.

If you're brave enough to try it let me know! I just ate some again for breakfast. :)

...sigh...

See this beauty. This is my baby niece. We went to visit them today and I got to hold her for the first time and I seriously didn't want to let go...she is such a snuggle bug. She has the most beautiful red hair, I'm thinking right about now that red hair most definitely runs in our family genes! This Auntie is in love. *
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Oh I could gaze at her all day...sigh...

So many choices so little time...

So I asked you all a while back to tell me which quilt pattern you liked the best. I finally picked and it's....pattern C. Not the fabric, just the pattern. So now on to the fabric. There are so many different fabrics to choose from I can't make up my mind. I went to a fabric store (with my little monkeys, boy was that fun!) and took pictures of my favorites and now I want you all to help me choose which color/pattern combo to go with. I put together the pattern choices that are up for debate on separate sheets of paper and have been asking friends and even the hubby to vote on which one is their favorite. Now it's your turn. Ready, Set...Go!
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Number 1. Lady bugs and flowers , strawberries, and plain red fabric. Don't bother trying to read my chicken scratch on the sides, it's just noting which fabric will be used for the sashing, center squares, border and binding, and corner stones and corner squares.

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Number 2. Blue, green and pink print fabric, butterfly, dragonfly, and blue fabric. I know the blue fabric looks grey in this picture but it's actually a light blue. I could always switch the solid blue fabric for a pink...although I am not much for the color pink, it would make it look more girly.

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Number 3. multi color flower pattern with brown background, multi color strips, solid blue, and flower/vine print with ladybugs and butterflies. Again I could switch the blue to a pink.

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Number 4. Big flowers, small flowers, butterflies, and blue fabric. I could do a green solid fabric on this one. I know that is not very girly, but have you figured out that I'm not much of a girly girl yet?

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Number 5. Multi colored flowers with a white background, solid green, green vines with flowers and a brown background, matching multi colored/patterned strips. I'm not sure if I want to go with green solid fabric for this one or switch it to blue or pink.

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So there you go, five choices. Which one is your favorite? What would you change? Let me hear your ideas.

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One last thing I bought my first girly outfit last weekend...it's adorable, take a look. It's sized for next summer, since this is a fall baby. So I have to wait a while before I can put her fat little body into it and stare at some juicy rolls, and I can hardly stand it!

I absolutely love dresses with matching diaper covers or shorts underneath. Cuteness!

Eyelet trim, strawberries, ribbon flower, red checkers, can it get any better then this?!