The bends and turns * the rough rapids * the slow gentle flow * the undercurrent * the wild and the tame * it's all here, come and listen.
Monday, July 20, 2009
No more suffering
My husband's mother passed away this weekend on Saturday after a battle with cancer. He was there, and is thankful for that. His sister and brother were coming up to visit her because it did look like she wasn't going to make it much longer, but we all didn't realize how little time was left. They didn't make it. I got back from picking up Bubu at the same time that his sister and J got to our house. My hubby was home and I assumed he came to meet them and take them to their mom. We all went inside and were chatting to each other and then my husband asked the little ones to go outside and play because he needed to talk to us, and my heart sank. He just came right out and told us that their mom had passed away that morning, and poor J just said "no" and went stone cold. Frozen and unresponsive, wouldn't say another word. We all sat and listened to hubby and then talked some and we all took turns telling J how much we loved him and such. I'm so worried about him. My husband is broken up but he knows that she is in a better place now and no longer suffering, plus he is an adult. J is only fourteen. He now has no father that he knows of and no mother. He never had much of a relationship with her in the first place, and he had just moved back in with her, after almost seven years of living with us, when she got sick. After my hubby left to go back to the nursing home and take care of things, his sister and J stayed behind. J started talking again, about other things and eventually you wouldn't even have been able to tell that anything had happened. I went along with it because I know him and I knew not to push anything. His sister left later and he is staying with us until the memorial. He remain unemotional the rest of that night and yesterday. Then last night, late, late into the night I heard him crying. Hard. Although it saddened me to hear his hurt I also felt relieved. He needed to let it out. I let it go for a while, because I knew he would go back into himself if we went in there, but I also didn't want him to feel alone. So when he started to sound more angry and repetitive I told my hubby to go in there and comfort him. I am so worried for my boys. My hubby and my first baby. They are both so sensitive although they try so hard to hide it. I truly don't know how to comfort them, I feel unsure of the right words. I just desperately want to be able to support them through this, I hope that J can feel that I will always be there for him and although I am not his mom, he is my baby. Always and forever.
I have a seperate blog now for me to journal about Atty's health issues. If you want to check it out Click Here. I am going to be keeping this as our family blog and updating issues with Atty on the other blog from now on.
Mommy Riah, also known as Miriah :)
~ Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. ~
We are all on this journey together...
My husband, Ryder
The love of my life, caring, passionate, intelligent, introverted, Mr. fix it, hard worker.
~The family is one of natures masterpieces~
and ~Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons.~
My first born son, wise, protective, sassy, comical, perfectionist, snuggle bug.
My heart child, wild, curious, adventurous, loving, sensitive, fiery spirit
My littlest boy, mischievous, silly, independent, smart, tough guy, sweetheart.
My beautiul baby girl, charming, happy, strong, funny, sassy, chatterbox.
~Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.~
and then there is J-bird...always on my mind.
Click on the picture to learn more about my first baby.
Busy homeschooling mom to four amazing kiddos. I met my husband when I was fifteen. It's been a long road with lots of ups and downs and I am so glad we have stayed on this path together to enjoy this adventure. I am so lucky to be married to my best friend and the love of my life. I never imagined my life could be so full, and wonderful, I am truly blessed! Never a dull moment...