Thursday, August 5, 2010

~Yes indeed it was bitter sweet~

All together at last.I've been trying to find the words to express myself. I can't. The visit was beautiful and sad. It was overwhelming and brief. It was not enough...and to much. It filled my heart and left it aching. It made me smile and cry. It was as I thought bitter sweet. It was all these things and yet these words can't possibly describe what I felt during the visit. I feel like I can't even process it still. What I do know for sure is that seeing Atty with his bio brother together at last was a touching and beautiful well as sad beyond belief.
When Atty first saw him he just stopped and stared, suddenly shy. We have been talking about this visit for a while and I think the reality of it was a little much for him at first. But he warmed up fast and they were soon playing in the sandbox together. Sharing, showing each other things, working together, just like brothers do.

It was so sweet to watch. I tried to watch discretely, giving them space to get to know each other. It was hard not to snap non-stop pictures of them. As it is I took way to many...if that's possible.

They are so similar in looks and in behavior. It was amazing seeing these two acting so much the same way when they have been raise separately in two different families. Both his mother and I couldn't help marveling on all the similarities. They said some of the same phrase in the same way, moved in the same way, speech was similar, likes and dislikes along the same really makes you think about the whole nature verses nurture thing, environment verses genetic.

This photo touches me, two mothers raising brothers. Atty looked at this picture and said it perfectly..."Two Mommy's"...

We went to the zoo together on the second day and had a lot of fun. Here is a picture of Atty with his bio brother and family looking at the elephants. He really liked them and felt comfortable with them it was so sweet.

Saying goodbye was SO much harder then saying hello. It wasn't so much for me. I'm not sure how to explain myself on this. It broke my heart for Atty. It was so sweet seeing them together and watching them interact I just didn't want it to end, for him. I will of course miss him too, but we didn't really bond. I mean it was two very busy days and I didn't want to upset him by being to clingy or anything so I gave him his space. We interacted some and had fun together but I have to admit I didn't feel much of a connection, maybe because I was afraid to, because that would hurt to bad, I don't know. But what I did see was a connection to and a love for his brother from Atty and that, THAT, was hard to say goodbye too. I cried, on and off for the rest of the day and into the night. I really liked his parents too, especially his mom and I wish we had more time together then we did. I wish they lived closer instead of two states away!

My mom got to meet her grandson for the first time, this picture is so nice to see, both of the boys together with their Neenee.

Giving hugs as they depart. I saw a connection with these two and it was heart warming.

And now for the final good bye...for now. Until we meet again.

Love for a brother...and a friend.


Kat said...

This makes me bawl. I can understand how you were sad for Atty. But how wonderful that Atty and his brother have two such loving, understanding families that will foster this relationship for them. They will be close because of you two families. They are very lucky boys. :)

Kit Kat said...

This is so sweet! And sad, as you said. I just think it is so wonderful that you were able to do this, and so generous and loving of you as well. Thank you for sharing!

Lori said...

Wow! How wonderful and beautiful that you did this. I can only imagine all the emotions you have experienced through all of this. I think it is so awesome that both of your familys are willing to do this for these boys. I would say bitter sweet is a good description of it all. Bless you for your willingness and loving heart. XX