Some of you are going to judge me after reading this post.
I understand but please keep it to yourself if you are because I am beat myself up enough as it is.
Last night we had to say goodbye to our family dog. I've been crying about it for the last couple days and well into this morning. She needed a new home and I know it's what is best for her but it was so hard all the same.
I feel like I failed her, and my kids. I'm the mom that got rid of the beloved family dog. That sucks.
I just couldn't do it any more, I'm not a super mom no matter how hard I try. It was already hard enough trying to take care of four kids, a daycare, a house and the dog, often all alone because my husband works All The Time...but then add in Atty's serious health issues and his Modified Atkins for Seizures diet on top of that and poor Luna just wasn't getting the care she deserved. Then she broke out in hives again this year and was scratching her back raw. Big nasty bald spots. My vet told me she has allergies and suggested I change her diet. And that was the tipping point. I simply don't have it in me to do one more specialized diet. And I know that sounds horrible. But I can't. She was miserable and I knew she couldn't go on as it was, so I called a pug rescue and the sweetest lady ever came out last night and took her home to foster her until they find her a permanent home. So we said good bye.
I talked to my boys about it, for days before it happened. In simple terms. How mommy just couldn't give Luna the care she deserves. How she needs more walks, and attention and care from me and I wasn't meeting her needs. I told them that her new family would be able to fix her so that she didn't itch so bad and wasn't so miserable. I didn't mention Atty's health issues because that's not the direct reason, it's my ability to cope with Atty's health issues as well as the dogs. I didn't want any blame to be placed any where but with me. And as always my children rolled along with the way things needed to be. They hugged her, and loved her and said good bye. They wished her happiness in her new home and not a tear was shed...except by me.