Friday, January 18, 2013

This is the week that never ends... I think I've said that before. ;)

So this has been a long couple weeks... Don't even know were to start! First off the kid I nanny for got sick and it was a miserable week with a sad little guy. A struggle to keep homeschooling {and everything else that needs to be done} and balancing that with a sick one. It can be so emotionally taxing! Not to mention exhausting. Then that weekend my friend came over to spend the weekend at our house, she has been going through some major life changes {I've written about it before on here} and she's really come amazingly far in 6 short months, I'm so proud of her. But it's still rough, and can be emotionally overwhelming for me at times, trying to support her and be there for her, especially in the really needy times. Well this last weekend was one of those times because her dog, who she loves dearly, had cancer and she was having to come to terms with the fact that he needed to be put down. He was old and in pain and throwing up non-stop, among other gross and sad things. So right when she got to my door she was sobbing, who can blame her? She left an abusive husband of 14 years, started her whole life over again with her young daughter and her dog, her best friend through it all, is dying. It was harsh. It's one of those two steps forward, ten steps back moments. We talked about it that night and I could see the difference in her dog, and I had a feeling that she was right, it was time. Well that next morning I woke to puke all over my house, that poor dog vomited all night long! And there was blood in the vomit... I had a sobbing friend cleaning up dog puke on my floor, and it stunk so bad I wanted to puke and I hadn't even fully woke up yet. I was at a loss. We both decided it was time, she needed my help with that, a second opinion, because it was so hard for her to let go. We went that day and put her dog down and it was one of the hardest things I have done in a long time. I can't even fathom what it was like for her. We cried hard. I tried not to, because I could tell she needed me to be the strong one, but I just could stop some tears from sliding down. She whispered to him that her and her daughter were safe now, that it was okay and he could let go. That every thing was going to be okay, that he was the best friend she ever had. She thanked him, and comforted him and hugged him until he passed on, and then she sobbed right there on the floor holding her dead dog. The thing is this amazing almost 12 year old dog had hung in there for 7 years after being diagnosed with cancer... Seven years! Then right after she left her abusive husband he started going down hill, and when they finally got their own place last month it's like he just let go. He knew they were safe and he didn't need to guard her any more. It broke my heart seeing those two as she said goodbye to him. He was truly her best friend. Makes me tear up even now thinking about it. What a loyal and loving dog.  We barely made it out to the car before falling apart. I desperately pulled out every encouraging thing I could thing of to keep her centered. I was afraid she was going to have a panic attack again. But she made it through, crying off and on for the rest of the day. Then that night I was afraid again because she started to get really worked up once more, but I had her do a foot soak with super warm water, bath salts, and lavender, then made her some sleepy time tea, some chamomile and lavender tea, and gave her some naturally relaxing stuff like Magnesium and Motherwort tincture, and she got sleepy and went to bed. Emergency averted. :) Sometimes it pays to know that natural stuff. Anyways during all this my girl got sick with the same thing that the boy I nanny for had. It's some awful virus that comes with a off again on again fever, body aches, and sores on the inside of the mouth as well as a painful and red throat. Just ugly. And it lasts for like 10 days! She is still getting over it! Not sleeping worth a lick. So of course neither and I. Urrrrggggg! She crabby, irritable, and super sensitive about everything. She doesn't want to eat, she wants to be held all day long, I could go on and on. And the thing is I know she doesn't feel good and I am trying so hard to be sympathetic, but I'm exhausted at this point. I want to run away! Thankfully no one else got this nasty thing, so that's one good thing. Except my dog did randomly get sick during all this and was up all night as well with diarrhea and vomiting {he got into something, it's the lab in him that makes me eat all kinds of nasty}. That was awful, and just figures since I'm already not getting enough sleep. That night it alternated between cries from Lala, and desperate barking from the dog. At least he didn't go potty in his crate, that would have been a mess I don't ever want to have to clean up. So anyways last night I waited patiently {not really} for my husband to get home from work, and then I was off to visit the library. By myself. I dreamed about it all day long, the quiet, the excitement of new books, wandering around in the grown up section with out any grabby little hands. With out having to say shush over and over again. ;) Mostly just having a moment to myself. But when I got there the library was closed. I cried all the way home. Ugly cried. All. The. Way. Home. That's how you know you've had a long couple weeks. I couldn't hide the fact that I had been crying, so when I got home my husband looked at me all worried. I choked out that the library was closed, and he asked me if I had been crying, to which I responded by starting to cry all over again {I hate that}, then he asking if I was crying because the library was closed, to which I shook my head yes. Instead of making fun of me or belittling it, he took me in his arms and said he understood that I just wanted a moment to myself and I deserved one and he was sorry. That meant the world to me in that very moment and made every thing okay. Weird I know. I'm just so thankful for a wonderful man who knows me so well, and loves every little bit of me regardless of my many flaws, and my ridiculous emotional outbursts. :) Sigh. So even though my girl is still sick, I think she's headed in a good directions and I am hoping against hope that there will be a moment of reprieve this weekend.
This is the week that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends... I don't know why I still look forward to the weekends as if they were days off, I have four kids and a house to clean and food to cook... but dang it it's hard to let go of that thank God for Fridays feeling. :)


Marlea said...

Awe I want to comment something uplifting and encouraging, but I am not sure what that might be! I guess just knowing that you are a great friend and have a great man who knows and loves brought a tear to my eye. I can totally relate to being so upset over the library being closed! Its the simple little moments we crave so bad!!!! Here is a virtual toast to friends, pets, kids and those who keep us sane!!!

Kat said...

Oh MAN!!!!! That week sounds HORRIBLE. Seriously. I would have cried at the library being closed too. I LOVE your hubby for understand why you were crying. What a guy! Love that.

You are an amazing friend. You really go above and beyond. Seriously. You are awesome. Wow.

The part about the dog made me bawl. Dogs are awesome.

I hope this week is much better for you all!!!