Saturday, March 26, 2011

Adopted chicks~

I really had no idea that when we got the chicks it would bring up discussions about adoption from Atty, but it has, and it's been pretty consistent.

About a week or so before we got the chicks Bubu had asked me a question about Atty and his bio-brother that lives in another state {also adopted}. We were talking about Atty's brother as we often do, and reminiscing about their really fun visit to our state this last summer. All of a sudden Bubu asks me why Atty and his brother don't live together, because brothers live together. Then he said it was very sad. It was to the point and it scared me. It scared me because no matter how many times I rehearse what I will say when these questions come up it just doesn't seem to come out of my mouth as smoothly in the moment. I want our discussions to be honest and age appropriate and full of love. It's a hard topic to talk about. But questions need to be answered. We talked about it, Bubu and I, and I could tell Atty was listening but he didn't say anything.

Then we got the chicks and the questions started.

Where are the mommy chickens? Are they dead? Why aren't the babies with their mommy? Are they going back?

And on and on and on. I really felt like there was more to his questions then just concern over the chicks. It felt like it was a safe way for him to ask me his questions, although I don't know if he really thought that through or not. So when I answered I made it about adoption in a way. He asked the same questions over and over again and I continued to answer them, until he finally seemed to be satisfied. He never made a connection with himself by saying anything about him being adopted, but he seemed to be making a connection of some sort. This is the first time he has asked questions about adoption, always before it was someone else bringing it up, or myself mentioning something about adoption or his birth mom/dad. Even though we weren't talking about him, it felt great the he was finally opening that door a little and talking about it in a sense. It's only been recently that he has even started asking questions of any sort. I have a feeling it's going to get pretty intense with the questions around here pretty soon, he's got a bunch stored up in there somewhere.

How funny that little fluffy chicks opened the door for discussions about adoption with him.

1 comment:

Kat said...

I think that is great! I have always said that children that have been adopted should be told from little on. I think keeping it a secret or not talking about it much makes it seem like there should be something to hide, and there shouldn't be!

I love that you are so open to discussing it with them.
Another positive to getting the chicks! ;)