I've just been blah... I always seem to get this way in January. I'm so tired of the cold, gray, short days of winter. Even though I know we are on the other side now and it's steadily getting lighter and lighter, it doesn't seem to help at this point. I want green, warmth, the promise of summer days. I want to garden and hike and picnic. I want day light after my daycare kids head home so that I can actually do stuff outside. I want the chickens to lay more eggs. Actually they are starting to, after taking a couple months off! If I was more of a self reliant homesteader I would have ate those chicken, so annoying to feed them and feed them and clean their stinky cage and not get any eggs... I don't like chickens in the winter time. She how grumpy I am! Then there is the matter of my weight and how out of shape I am. Been feeling really down about that and frustrated with my lack of options for getting back into shape. I wanted to get a Curves membership but I just couldn't justify the monthly cost... then I tried some work out videos but the kids want to join in and get in the way and always seem to need something or get into something right when I'm getting my groove on... then I tried to figure out a way to walk/run outside but by the time my husband gets home {at least right now} it's completely dark out and he leaves to early in the morning to do it before he leave for work. With that plan I was getting out so rarely it just wasn't making a difference. The only place work out equipment can go is in our room, which isn't very large, so my options were limited... But just this week I found an elliptical on Craigslist that was affordable so my hubby went and picked it up for me and it fits perfectly in our room! The nice part is that I can put on a movie in the playroom for the kids so that they are preoccupied and then I can grab my mp3 player and go work out in my room, which I did last night for the first time. And it was awesome. :) Well towards the end Lala did come find me and that was a bit frustrating... but not enough to make me stop or anything, I actually got to go for a mile!!! And you know what I felt great! I am one of those people that really needs to work out for my mood, I need to get out for fresh air as well, which is why I'm such an outdoorsy person... but working out works too. So my goal is to do a mile every day {which means probably every other day or less, haha!} and then go up from there. In April {when it's hopefully light late enough in the day so I can actually get outside after hubby gets home} I want to start the couch to 5K program. Me running 3 miles {by the end of the program} seems rather silly, but I'm going to try. It really does make me feel so good after wards. So anyways this is how I'm going to fight the gray mood that is dragging me down... in fact I had a whole blog post about how blah I was feeling in my head but then I did that mile last night and I feel so much better that I no longer feel the need to vent my bleakness... your welcome. :)
On top of the mood I've been in I'm also going through a rough patch with Lala. She is so testy lately. Throwing fits, just for fun I swear. Just basically testing every limit and rebelling against authority and basically getting too big for her britches. It's so hard to repeat over and over again the rules and expectations we have in this family. It's embarrassing dealing with her attitude in front of others, and it's frustrating when she is the only one acting up in public. I guess I should be thankful she's the only one, but I just want to be past this stage, I feel like I've already put in so much time getting the boys were they are with their behavior that the selfish part of me just wants to be done. But I know I have to put in the time with her as well, and I know that once she figures it out things will get better... it's just hard to keep my eyes on the prize so to speak when she is testing me non-stop. I'm a bit sad that my last little baby is past the "can do no wrong" baby stage and into the testy toddler stage. It's not that she's horrible {even though my complaining makes it sound that way} she's a great kid, I just have high expectations for behavior with my children and I know that she will live up to them... soon I hope. Haha!
Homeschooling has been going well. Although if I'm being honest some days I have to force myself to do it... Keeping to the school schedule has proven to be a bit hard for me. But the nice thing is that we can take days off when we want and make up those days when we want and the schedule is our to do with what we want... it doesn't have to be the same as our local public schools. Plus it just doesn't take as long to get done with my three what it takes to get done with a class room of 30 some. On a whim I picked up some early readers at the library and had Spike try one... and he is reading!!! It will never cease to amaze me how different each of my children are. His preK program isn't any where near the reading stage, but because he knows all his letter sounds and is open to learning how to read, excited really, I think I'm going to skip forward for him... which is another awesome thing about homeschooling. You can really tailor to each child's needs and readiness. Love that. One thing that is a bit frustrating though in a selfish way is that it's obvious that Atty and Spike are not going to be on the same level, not any time soon anyways, so instead of using one program to teach each of them {which I was hoping for because they are only 4 months apart} I will have to use separate programs for the most part... which means separate programs for all three {four separate programs as soon as Lala is old enough}. It would have been a lot easier with them on the same level, but oh well. Such is life and it's not about me after all, it's about the best education for each one of them. Just have to figure out the best way to incorporate three separate lessons into our day and make sure they all get enough one on one with me. Some things we can do together still so that helps. I also want to focus on more art and creative projects being incorporated into our day. I've really been lacking in that lately. And in all this I want to remember the value of play. I don't want to get so focus on school that I forget how much they learn just through play alone... especially at this age! Which reminds me of the next book I want to read The Value of Play by Rae Pica. :)
Well that's all for now, speaking of schooling I have some planning to do... I'm going to try and get my goals for the new year on here at some point, some of them anyways. Keep myself accountable. I've realized though that if I try to share all of them then I'm just not honest enough with myself to make any real change. So I'll share my goals for the house and yard and such but keep the more personal ones to myself. :) I know that's not nearly as interesting, haha, sorry! Also I plan on doing a blog post on a day in the life, just for the fun of it. So that I can look back when they are older and see how things change over the years on the day to day stuff. I'd like to add some more homeschooling posts as well, I never really seem to get into the nitty gritty on that topic... I'm sure as my one and only regular blog reader {you know who you are} you are just dying to hear all about it... haha! Oh and by the way Kat, you're awesome, thanks for all your great comments, I always look forward to reading them. Even though I didn't start this blog looking for lots of readers, but rather a great way to document our lives, still I've loved all your great comments! I love every ones comments {I've had some great commenter's over the years} and feel so lucky to have found such amazing people to share with!!!
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Oh yeah. This time of year is so hard. We have had the mildest winter here and I am still aching for summer. I just LOVE summer.
And yes I am feeling out of shape and over weight and blaaaahhhhhh. I actually stopped running because for some reason I was gaining weight (even though I was running and watching what I ate) and I was so frustrated I decided to take a break. It is maddening. But I've given myself a pass and I will just have to pick it back up again in spring.
I don't know how you self motivate to do homeschooling. I really don't think I could do it. I give you so much credit! You are awesome!
Hang in there hon! Spring will be here before you know it. :)
(and thanks for the mention!)
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