Saturday, June 19, 2010

Now I get it.

In the past Father's day has meant nothing to me. I'll be honest. I had a horrible father. Nothing worth celebrating. This day use to make me sad. Or angry. He doesn't deserve a day. I'd hear all the sweet stories of wonderful fathers who loved their children and built beautiful memories with them. A part of me would long for that. I'd watch movies with fathers that treated their daughter well and I'd get all teary eyed because that wasn't my reality. Not even close. It use to be that this day would come and go and I'd just sort of shut down and go about my day. Can't change what was never mine to control anyways.
~
Then I had children. Before my eyes I saw my husband transform into a wonderful father for OUR children. I see him with his children and I melt. Now this day makes sense. I am so thankful that my children have the amazing father I didn't have. Their father is full of love and compassion for his children. He works hard to take care of them and protect them. He builds them up. He plays with them and teaches them. They mean the world to him, he would never do anything to hurt them. They are his life. That's the way it's suppose to be. My children are going to grow up with wonderful memories of their father. I may have had a horrible rotten father...but my kids, well my kids have a dad who deserves his day.
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I feel so lucky to witness what a wonderful father truly is through the eyes of my children.
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*It's a little bitter sweet isn't it. Not Hallmark material that's for sure.*

5 comments:

Kat said...

I am so sorry you didn't get the father you deserve. You have become such a strong, amazing, loving woman all on your own. And he can not take any credit for that. That was all you.

I am so glad that you can finally enjoy Father's Day because of your wonderful hubby. It seems that so many times when a woman has a horrible father they have a hard time picking a good man to marry, but clearly you picked a great one! Way to break the crappy dad cycle. ;)

Happy Father's Day to your hubby!

Lori said...

I can relate all too well with your past feelings about fathers day. My father was not there for me either and I never felt loved or wanted by him. Even though I have forgiven him for these things now that I'm an adult, and I do love him, I still struggle every flipping year at picking out a card for him. I will not lie...I cannot pick out a card that thanks him for always being there...ect...so it takes me forever to find a basic card that says Happy Fathers Day or I just get him a stupid funny one. I am sorry you didn't have it in your life either.

But how wonderful that you have a stand up father in your life now! Reading that your children have a father like this makes me so happy.

Happy fathers day to your wonderful husband! Hope you and him and your children have a wonderful day! XX Lori

Marlea said...

I love you girl. You have over come such a horrible past and are now giving your children the life you always wanted. You are truly blessed to have a MAN and not a worthless pile of crap to be the father to your children.
Enjoy this day for what is meant to be.
Happy Fathers day R! I am so proud of him for overcoming his past as well and is able to be the father he is.

Brittany said...

I'm so glad that your kids have a father to look up to! What a beautiful thing! :))

Life by the Handful said...

I think they are going to have some great memories of their mama too.