Reindeer!

"Bubu get down off that chair and close that window it's freezing outside!"

"But Daddy's getting a Reindeer!"

"What?"

"A Reindeer, Daddy's getting a Reindeer! I want to see the Reindeer!"

"What are you talking about..."

"A Reindeer!"

(Spike and Atty come racing.) "Yeah Reindeer, Reindeer"

"Bubu, Daddy said Rain Gear, he went out to the shop to grab his rain Gear."

"But I want to see a Reindeer"

"Well you will have to wait for Christmas then, if you're lucky you might spot one."

"Bubu, seriously get down off that chair, Christmas is still a little ways away."

(Although coming up fast isn't it!)

So...Praise the Lord, my hubby was grabbing his rain Gear because the Carpenters Hall finally called and he has a Job! We don't know how long, but this one sounds like it will at least last more then a week (which was all he got the last time they called). We have both been praying for something and we both got a little emotional this time around. Being that he has worked less then three months out of this whole year! So...Praise the Lord!! I'm doing the happy dance!

Wild pregancy dreams...for my husband.

I was roused from a deep sleep the other night to the sound of my husbands "mean voice" belting out

"Who's talking to my wife!"

Now being that I was sleepy for a split second I thought, who is talking to me?...but then I realized...it was the middle of the night!

So with my heart beating a mile a minute I said "Oh my goodness, that scared me"(or something similar to that but I am trying to keep this blog PG) when I should have just punched him, to which he responded in a sleepy voice, "sorry...good thing I didn't yell that".

"Um yeah you did why do you think I'm awake." To which there was no answer because he was apparently already asleep again dreaming Lord knows what.

I on the other hand I was awake for hours, thanks hon.

This far surpasses the time he was talking about cookies in his sleep.

Hello, can you hear me now?

This is the second time my hubby has had to take apart the toilet in our second bathroom.
This time it was to remove... drum roll please...

A TOY CELL PHONE. Last time it was a block of wood. Both times hubby was very unhappy.

So glad he knows how to pull apart a toilet and put it back again, because if I was faced with that I don't know if it would ever get done. I think I would just put a Hazard sign on the seat and right it off as a loss. It's not that I couldn't figure it out, it's just that I wouldn't want to. He really comes in handy when it comes to the big dirty jobs! Little poopy diapers...not so much. You win some, you lose some. :)

*

Oh and if you are wondering why my hubby is home in the middle of the day during the week, well he got laid of again. After finally getting a call from the hall, we were so excited, but it ended up being only two partial weeks of work. Enough that he couldn't claim unemployment, and since he worked barely over 40 hours they have bumped him back to the end of the union list, which by the way is a mile long right now, and he's already been on it twice! He barely made more then if he had just stayed on unemployment, and he missed out on a deck building job he was going to do with a friend, where he would have made A Lot More. To say we are frustrated is an extreme understatement.

*

I am trying to stay thankful, so today I am thankful that he was here to fix the stinky clogged up toilet. I will attempt to take it one day at a time, and be thankful, oh so thankful for my beautiful, healthy family. Living in the moment.

No more suffering

My husband's mother passed away this weekend on Saturday after a battle with cancer. He was there, and is thankful for that. His sister and brother were coming up to visit her because it did look like she wasn't going to make it much longer, but we all didn't realize how little time was left. They didn't make it. I got back from picking up Bubu at the same time that his sister and J got to our house. My hubby was home and I assumed he came to meet them and take them to their mom. We all went inside and were chatting to each other and then my husband asked the little ones to go outside and play because he needed to talk to us, and my heart sank. He just came right out and told us that their mom had passed away that morning, and poor J just said "no" and went stone cold. Frozen and unresponsive, wouldn't say another word. We all sat and listened to hubby and then talked some and we all took turns telling J how much we loved him and such. I'm so worried about him. My husband is broken up but he knows that she is in a better place now and no longer suffering, plus he is an adult. J is only fourteen. He now has no father that he knows of and no mother. He never had much of a relationship with her in the first place, and he had just moved back in with her, after almost seven years of living with us, when she got sick. After my hubby left to go back to the nursing home and take care of things, his sister and J stayed behind. J started talking again, about other things and eventually you wouldn't even have been able to tell that anything had happened. I went along with it because I know him and I knew not to push anything. His sister left later and he is staying with us until the memorial. He remain unemotional the rest of that night and yesterday. Then last night, late, late into the night I heard him crying. Hard. Although it saddened me to hear his hurt I also felt relieved. He needed to let it out. I let it go for a while, because I knew he would go back into himself if we went in there, but I also didn't want him to feel alone. So when he started to sound more angry and repetitive I told my hubby to go in there and comfort him. I am so worried for my boys. My hubby and my first baby. They are both so sensitive although they try so hard to hide it. I truly don't know how to comfort them, I feel unsure of the right words. I just desperately want to be able to support them through this, I hope that J can feel that I will always be there for him and although I am not his mom, he is my baby. Always and forever.

There is no title for this one...

Things are a bit stressful over here. I won't go into it too much, because I've learned my lesson about blogging when emotional (I think), but lets just say my husband has lost his marbles. On top of being laid off and under financial strain in addition to another baby on the way, his mother is dying from cancer at age 50 and he is having a hard time keeping it together. He copes with stress by withdrawing from us all and going back into some old patterns that are hurtful to all involved including himself, it's always very upsetting to me...he has been in an extremely selfish mode the last couple weeks. I have drawn his attention to it, and he seems to be coming up for air, so I'm hoping we can work together as one again soon. In the mean time I am stressed to the max and feeling a bit depressed. I want to be there for him, but because of his behaviour as of late, I am angry with him also. It's overwhelming to feel so conflicted.


If you are a praying person and you feel like praying for a stranger I sure could use your prayers. Because when things get like this I feel like crawling into bed, pulling the covers up over my head and never coming out. Of course I can't do that because I have a bunch of little blessings running around the house that need their mother, so I need to find the strength to keep on going even if things seem impossible right now.

I rewrote this post about a million times and then couldn't decide whether to post it or not, and then I figured I spent so much time writing and deleting I might as well post it. What we are dealing with here is very personal and not something I can really write about and what I can write about sounds stupid and meaningless, but just know that I needed to vent, even if I could only vent a little bit.

The man gives me grey hairs!

This is my hubby. Using a power tool.

Over our pond. Balancing on boards. Over water. Power tool.

Trying to fix our stupid pond, has been an ongoing headache to say the least. We had to fix a crack in the top pond, which didn't work the first time so we had to do it all over again. For some reason the rock that the water is suppose to flow over on one side is now higher and the water won't flow over it. We have tried propping the other side up higher and such but nothing was working. So my hubby decided enough was enough and broke out the power tool. He decided to shave down the rock so the water will flow over. Which would be a great idea if it didn't include perching over a body of water with a Power Tool! The man gives me grey hairs.

Mushy-smushy...

I went alone to a baby shower last weekend and during the long drive there I started thinking about how next month is our anniversary, Ryder and I. We will be celebrating four years of marriage, and 15 years since our eyes met as he walked into the room. I was 15 years old when we met. So now he has been in my life for half of my life time! That got me thinking, and crying and all sentimental. So many things have happened since he first entered my world in 1994.
(I am not 500 lbs in this picture, I'm just wearing everything I owned at the time or something, I use to layer, a lot. Not that it really matters, I just felt an unnecessary need to explain for some reason. Sorry for the rotten picture, it's was taken in 94 and it's a picture of a picture, so yeah...)

*

He is the only man I have ever been in love with. He is the only man who has the total ability to shatter my heart to pieces, which he did by the end of the summer we met. It was initially a short intense summer romance, which then dragged on for about another year of on again off again turmoil. Then we lost contact and what followed for me was a couple years of heart break and then soul searching. By the time I recovered and was headed in my own direction he reappeared in my life and still had the ability to make my heart race at the sound of his voice.

I tried to tell myself not to fall in love with him, but with in a year of his reappearance in 98, I was again hopelessly in love. Lucky for me this time so was he. We got back together and have been together ever since. The picture above was taken in the summer of 99. It took four years, and then another six before I was willing and ready to get married. We have been through a lot of ups and downs in our relationship over the years. A lot of hard times going on around us while we leaned on each other for support. Some super happy times and some heart wrenching times. Now we come to this, a home of our own over flowing with children and a relationship that has managed to stay solid over the years despite the odds.

*

I might write more about our relationship over the next few weeks because I'm in the mood to reminisce, if you want to skip it don't bother checking in over here until after our anniversary in June. It won't hurt my feelings I promise.

...and now we are here...

One year ago we became home owners. It was a proud day, a day we worked harder towards then I could even describe. We had a lot of step backs, a lot of unexpected life changes but we made it. We were finally standing on our front steps. With our boys. A home of our own.

My husband and I both had really rough childhoods, not a very good start in life to say the least. Many people at one point in our lives didn't think we would ever amount to much. We were angry and deeply hurt as teenagers. We could have chosen paths of destruction and we both almost did. So when I look at this picture and think of everything that happened in our lives before this point it brings me to tears. It's more then just owning a piece of property, it's the sweat and tears it took for us to be home owners, to live that dream. Something I could barely imagine as we were struggling through life, just trying to keep our heads above water. We had been working so hard for years prior to this, it felt like we finally had something to show for it all.

*

My husband never had a home. He moved from one place to another though out his childhood. Never the same place to rest his head. For him this was one of the biggest things he could give his kids, a place of their own. A safe place called home. To see his face, and how proud he felt when we walked though that door, that's what meant the most to me. He loved everything about the home, which was good considering he bought it with me sight unseen! Well I showed him pictures I took but that was it.

*

The year it took to find this house was so stressful. I had to do all the house tours by myself, pick the Realtors (I went through 3!), fill out the paperwork, everything on my own with three boys under two and a full time daycare to keep running. My bestest friend Iva saved me beyond words. My mom and other friends lent a helping hand, my husband did what he could but he had to work full time. To say I had a few emotional freak outs is still putting it lightly. I had just had a baby when we started, Atty was a little baby too being only four months older then Spike, and I was dealing with a teenager going through issues of his own. I was sleep deprived, overwhelmed, and almost about ready to crack by the time I stood on the front steps of my home. It was like a breath of fresh air.

*

We had no family to loan us money, no strings to pull, and honestly not a lot of money saved. But we had a great net work of friends and family to lean on for emotional and physical support, and we managed to time it just right and jump into the market at just the right time. It was scary. One of the biggest leaps of faith I have ever made. I essentially lost my job and bought a home at the same time. On the faith that I would be able to start up my business at the new location. It seemed like one of the most irresponsible, yet responsible decisions we had ever made as parents. We had three little mouths to feed, a huge responsibility to keep a roof over their heads. I had nightmares of loosing the new home and living under a bridge for months after we moved in, I was so afraid we wouldn't be able to make the mortgage payment on one income, let alone all the bills. One of the biggest things this last year has taught me... trust in God.

Our first year as home owners we encountered many unexpected things. Here is a list of some of the things that happened;

*The heater in our bathroom broke in the first week, still not fixed.

*We managed to blow up our hot tub, still not fixed.

*The top of our pond split and the crack got worse and worse. The water started spilling out in all the wrong places. The algae took over and the water got all murky and the fish were about to pack up and leave. We just (sort of) got that fixed last weekend.

*Our hot water heater went on the fritz in the dead of winter. It took two weeks for the part we had to order to make it through all the snow. Two weeks with out hot water, at Christmas time, horrid. My amazing husband fixed his first water heater and saved us all. He's awesome.

*Atty cracked the toilet tank and flooded the bathroom and hall. My hubby fixed that too.

*My garbage disposal just up and quit working and every time you would run the dishwasher the sink would flood. You would have to stand there and bucket water into the other side of the sink or it would flood the counter tops. My hubby figured out how to fix it thank goodness!

*The fan on our main heater seems to be going out, the only heat source in the house, thank goodness it's almost summer. We probably won't bother to fix it until we go to turn it back on next winter, and find out it's completely broken, because that's how we roll.

There's been many other little unexpected things that have happened as new home owners but those are the main ones. They may seem silly but we rented for so long and all we had to do was call the landlord and leave the fixing up to them, so this was a whole new ball game for us. Just last weekend when Ryder was trying to figure out how to get the pond pump to turn on again, J said "just call the landlord". Which I admit still fleets across my mind when something breaks down, until I remember, Oh Yeah I get the pleasure of fixing this myself (or at least my husband does).

This is what the front flower bed looks like this year. It was pretty empty, but I had a ton of plants that I was bringing with me. I couldn't even bring them all, because if you noticed, there is gravel everywhere. It's so yucky. This side bed was the only one with dirt in it. I made it slightly bigger then it originally was, and it was so hard to move all the gravel and weed barrier and add soil in just for a few extra feet of flower bed. When we first moved in I had all these plans to replace all the gravel up front with soil and turn them into beautiful flower beds, but after doing that little add on I was exhausted. I decided the gravel keeps the weeds aways so maybe it's not so bad after all. :) Maybe a couple years from now I will be brave enough to tackle it.

This is the front of our house one year later. I have added more plants into the gravel, and plan on added even more this year. I've got to figure out how to make it look better with out taking all the gravel up. The soil underneath the gravel, nasty. I love the house, but the yard is not a plant lovers dream. I did manage to get my husband to make me some little garden boxes on the side of the house, which is also covered in gravel. The previous owners had a love affair with gravel I fear. Not the pretty kind of rock either, just regular ol' gravel. So now I get a little garden, which is nice. Gardening is a hobby of mine, and even the little bit that I get to do is good for my soul. If I got my way I'd be in the yard all day, or at the local nursery. The inside of my house on the weekends in the summer time...not so nice.

*

So anyways this long drawn out post was just a way to reminisce this past year and the years prior that brought us to this date, our one year anniversary as home owners.

Prayers

Ryder's mom is sick. Apparently very, very sick. She went to the ER last Sunday, and is still at the hospital doing test. Today they are checking for cancer. They did a cat scan yesterday and saw a lot of lumps or cyst and so they are now checking to see if those are cancerous. She has been sick for a while, it's a long story, but we didn't expect it to take this turn for the worse.

It's no secret that her and I don't get along. That being said I have still been in near tears all day long, for my husband, for J, for their sister, because three siblings could be left with out the only parent they have. My husband is falling apart. It kills me to hear his sad broken voice. I could tell he was falling apart this morning when I was trying to ask him if he had any new information and he was getting really agitated trying to talk about it. I hugged him and let it go. He then called me a few hours later, broken and in tears, choking on his words. It is so hard for all of them because their mom has done the most horrible things to them, she is selfish, rude, and at times flat out mean. It's always been about her their whole lives. And part of them resents that. But she is their mom, the only parent any of them have, and they love her regardless. Regardless of everything.

There is a lot more to this story that I don't feel like going into right now in light of us not know at this point how truly ill she is. It has to do with J though and some information I got from his sister about what has been going on since he started living with his mom again. I've been lied to. I am angry. Angry and sad, a bit of a mess. And feeling guilty for being angry at someone so sick. Frustrating.

Prayers for her and her children who are having a hard time right now (and maybe even some prayers for me that I will not feel so angry at a time like this).

Getting to know the husband.

I was tagged by Mama to do this little number.

How well do you know your husband?

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? We don't have cable or anything right now, haven't for a while, but if we did he would be watching some sort of funny sitcom. Right now we have been watching The Office and 30 Rock on the computer.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Usually the same as me, so he doesn't have to think about it.

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Baby corn.

4. You go out to eat. What drink does he order? Usually cola or root beer.

5. Where did he go to high school? Everywhere, his mom moved A LOT!

6. What size shoe does he wear? 11

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Music CDs. He has a serious music obsession.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Well when we go to Subway he usually gets a sandwich on whole wheat bread with lots of different types of meat, all the toppings, mayo, mustard, salt and pepper. The works.

9. What would he eat every day if he could? I have no idea, he likes lots of different things, and he changes his mind often. He goes through binges were he likes one specific thing and then he goes and changes it to something else.

10. What is his favorite cereal? Raisin bran at least that's what he eats the most of. Life was his favorite cereal when he was a kid.

11. What would he never wear? A speedo? I don't really know. I don't think there is much my man wouldn't wear. It's frightening really.

12. What is his favorite sports team? I don't think he cares, but he sometimes watches Seahawks games.

13. Who did he vote for? That's for me to know and you to find out, from him... ;)

14. Who is his best friend? Ummm, me of course! At least I've been around the longest, so best friend by default I guess.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Stress out, a lot. He also hates it when I get loud when I am emotional about something. He always thinks I am yelling at him, when I'm not, most of the time. A lot of the time it doesn't really have anything to do with him, I'm just upset and trying to express myself...loudly.

16. What is his heritage? Mostly German and Irish.

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Changes all the time. He does really like German chocolate.

18. Did he play sports in high school? No, they moved around too much.

19. What could he spend hours doing? Building stuff out of wood out in his shop. Hours and hours and hours........He's been known to go out in his shop and disappear until the wee hours of the morning!

20. What is one unique talent he has? Building beautiful things out of wood.

My husband is a pretty easy going guy, so it was actually hard to answer the questions specifically. He also changes his obsessions on a regular basis. It's turned into a joke around here really. I'm not tagging anyone, but if you feel like giving it a try, go for it.

the voice

Hubby's back to work! Yeah!!

He just started today, got the call yesterday, gone today. We will see how it goes. The only thing is it's at an Shell oil refinery, and it's really a pretty scary job, so I'm a little freaked out. Trying not to think about it to much. They are also working up to 7 days a week, 12 hour days right now, and there is a good possibility that he will be put on night shift. Ugggg! I mean the pay check is much needed, but I worry about his health and my sanity.

I was admittedly really liking the extra help. Need it. At least for another month or so. It is going to take a lot of energy I don't have right now to go back to the whole "single" parent thing. Being responsible for everything and not getting any breaks at all. Keeping the daycare running right now is hard enough. He won't be able to and I won't want him to be doing extra when he gets home if he is working those long hours. If he works nights, I will never sleep. I am a serious wimp about him not being here at night. There was only one other time when he worked a swing shift, and I hated it. Plus how will he ever get any good sleep, childcare is not a quiet business!

So a huge part of me is relieved that he has been called in to work, but there is this pesky little voice in me that is squeaking "what about me, don't leave me all alone with these little boys, I don't feel good, take care of me, help!" I am trying desperately to tune it out, because it is selfish, but it has a pretty high pitch to it.

I think I'll keep him

I'm going to take a moment to say, all complaining aside, I have a super awesome husband. He cooks, he cleans, vacuums, does laundry (some times), takes care of the kids, and does the dishes (a lot, I hate doing dishes and I do a ton too, so there are just a lot of freaking dishes to do constantly!). He builds things, fixes things, does just about any chore I ask him to and is still working on my never ending "to do" list. He is absolutely awesome. I have been so super sick and tired with this pregnancy and I seriously don't know what I would do with out him right now. I don't have the option of just leaving my house a wreck when I am too sick to operate, because I run a daycare in my home. So he has been picking up my slack big time. He is still not working right now, which gives him more time to help out then he would normally be able to do, but even when he is working he will come home from a crazy long day, and pitch in, do what needs to be done. He is an amazing husband and amazing father and I just don't ever tell him this enough. It's been over 15 years since I first gazed into his beautiful blue eyes and it just keeps getting better and better. It has been a long hard road, but worth it, truly worth it.

...and no I didn't train him (and wouldn't admit it even if I did). People say that right to his face, and he takes it in stride, doesn't let it get to him. Cause it's not that he's "trained", it's because we are a team, 50/50 is the deal. There is just a lot of stuff that needs to be done all the time. He doesn't have any hang ups about what he can and can not do, except dirty diapers. Doesn't care for those. ;)

Okay, so I really am crazy...

My dear, dear hubby is not working right now, he's laid off, and he is driving me CrAzy!

When he is here during the day he messes up my schedule and seriously makes things more complicated for me. I am trying not to get too evil, but I am border line at best right now. He is having a hard time getting another job, because of the economy, so we could be in for the long haul this time. I don't think I will survive! I have a packed schedule all day, and I really need to be able to do things at a certain time for the most part and he is so clueless. He sits down at the computer when I need to, he starts talking to me when I need to be doing something with the children, the kids and I will be up to our elbows in glue and paint and he will want me to stop and answer a question or help him with some thing, oblivious of what is going on. I swear he is critiquing me, and making little comments about things he doesn't really understand. He gets the kids all riled up when they need to be calming down, oh the list goes on and on. I like to work alone, I need my space, I have to be my own boss, and I don't need one more distraction added to my day.

Most of these obnoxious annoyances happen in the morning, then he goes out into his shop or running around looking for a job, then back in his shop, and doesn't come in until late at night. I am getting less help at night then I was when he was working. That's when I need him here, at the end of the day, when I am burnt out and turning into Super Crazy Mommy (cape and all), not during the day when he is just getting in the way. My days are just all around frustrating right now, I sure hope he gets a job soon.

That being said I do have to give him credit for coming in and helping me straighten up the house last night in preparation for a wild full house day today. He cleaned up the whole kitchen, which is awesome, because dishes are my worse...hate 'um. Especially since I end up doing them All Day Long!

Oh and in other news, Hubby and I are trying for baby number 4! I like even numbers, ha, ha! I am giving myself until my 31st birthday, which is in September, at which time if I am not pregnant, I will be done. We are trying for a girl, don't ask, it's suppose to be possible. Not very fun though. I know, it's really great planning with my hubby being out of work and all, but there never seems to be the perfect moment, and I want the kids to be fairly close together in age. So yah, I sort of made up my mind, as long as I don't think about it too much...

Yet another sanity stealer.

So today is the two week anniversary of the mysteriously missing hot water. That's right, our hot water tank is still busted. It's been a long two weeks. One ridiculous hang up after another. My poor sweet self sufficient, no make that stubborn, husband is determined to fix it on his own. After waiting almost two weeks for our next day package (whole different rant, let me just say UPS is evil) to show up with the part we needed, because it just happens to be the only part that has to be ordered not picked up from the hardware store, it turns out that it's apparently not the problem as assumed.

My husband was so excited when he saw Tuesday morning that the part had been delivered some time in the quiet of the night. He was so determined to save us all from the horror of not having any hot water that he proceeded to rip apart the tank and install the magical part right then and there. An hour into it, and now officially late for work, he realized that his guess on what part to order was wrong. Good thing the boys weren't up yet, cause the words spilling out of his mouth were definitely not PG.

I then got to spent the whole day on the phone with the water heater company trying to figure out the list of things my hubby wanted me to ask them while he was at work. I found out were to get the part he now thinks is the *real* problem and he went and picked it up after work. This new part required emptying the entire tank with a hose, which required the door to be cracked open in the dead of winter and caused the babies to sense a chance to escape into the night. Fun stuff. Poor hubby fiddled with the stinking water heater all night, skipped dinner, stressed and struggled and by ten o'clock it was apparent that no fix was in sight. I begged him to call it a night. Gently suggested calling a professional, but calling a professional is like asking for direction, nether of which my husband will do until he is literally, not figuratively, literally bashing his head into a dead end sign. Urrrrrgggg! I know we can't afford getting a professional in here either, but we can't afford for my husband to lose his sanity, and this water heater is a sanity stealer.

I have been trying really hard not to add to my husbands stress by nagging at him about the lack of hot water, because I know he is teetering. If I have to go one more day though heating water on the stove to wash dishes and sponge bathe, my uncharacteristic patience with him in this situation will evaporate.

female praying mantis

So my life with boys includes my lovely hubby, and I would have to say that there are these moment, sometimes every once in a while, sometimes a couple times a day, were the little annoying things he does drive me absolutely mad...we have known each other for over 15 years after all.

For the most part he is my rock, my best friend, my love, but then there are these little moments in between, were I just want to snap.

In these moments I envision myself as a female praying mantis and we all know what they do to there mates right?

As an example of the kind of stuff that drives me bananas, I will paint a picture for you. I don't know if the picture will be good enough with out the audio, but I will attempt to recreate the scenario of last night. Let me mention that prior to this little moment in time, I had been in the Dentist chair for four hours, and it had been a full house daycare day, with a million and one things to do. So now let the scenario unravel...

Me baking cookies like crazy (two different types, three dozen each) for a cookie party get together this Saturday, and trying to put together a batch of sugar cooking for the Friday Christmas cookie decoration party with the daycare kids. At the same time I am also trying to slap some dinner together, before it gets too late. While I am busy doing all this my mind is racing ahead as to how I am going to manage cleaning up the house, which is a disaster at that point and get the boys to bed on time. My lovely hubby mean while is staring at the computer screen in the playroom. Three boys running around screaming at the top of there lungs. Throwing things. Then the brawl starts, the two littlest want the same toy, and the ear splitting screaming begins, which is a notch higher then screaming at the top of their lungs. Me desperately trying to do damage control from the kitchen while up to my elbows in cookie goo. SO not working, they are in there own little must have it world. So I holler at hubby to please help, no answer. I holler again, a little louder just in case he didn't hear me over the noise that is now vibrating off the walls. He looks up at me, and says "Huh?" I ask (snap) a curt, "didn't you hear me?" "no." he replies, just sitting there staring at me, as if nothing is going on. Mean while the scream fest has magically solved it self. "Well couldn't you at least hear all the noise around you?" I ask. "No, I wasn't paying attention to it." Really dude, the noise is literally bouncing around in my brain and I am in the kitchen. What is your secret my friend.

Those kinds of nonchalant comments from him while I am going squirrelly, those are the ones that make me pause and picture myself as a female praying mantis. Then I can smile, and life goes on...no harm done.

time alone!

All of the boys took a nap at the same time today, and my husband and I actually got some time alone! It was wonderful. I miss those quiet moments. I guess I never really appreciated them enough before we had kids. That's just the way it was, and honestly at times I found it kind of boring. Funny. Thinking back I am glad we waited as long as we did to have kids. We rarely get time together, just me and him, now days. But we had 10 years to stock piled those moments of togetherness before we had kids. So now when we barely have a moment to spare for each other, we can pull from the memories of a time when it was just the two of us, and it helps keep that spark alive. Sometimes when the house is really loud, and the boys are everywhere, getting into everything, my husband and I just look at each other and those memories, and the stolen moments we find, flood back into our minds and pull us together,. Keep us going strong. I am more in-love with him now then the day we met, but the day to day noise has a tendency to drowned that out. When it's quiet and he turns his beautiful eyes to me, I can think of nothing else.