A week over due with baby number two!Just to warn you the following is Spikes birth story, and has some detail straight out of my journal. If you are squeamish about that sort of thing you might not want to read this extremely long post.
Finally Baby! Spending the day at the park did the trick! It was a warm day and I soaked my feet in the cool water at the lake. Ate lots of food, especially watermelon and lots of walking. I was getting contractions and they felt different then before. Toward the end of the day I told Ryder this, he felt we should go home, and it had been a long day so I agreed.
A few hours after we got home my water broke, so after waiting a bit to make sure it was the real thing, I told Ryder to call my mom and Iva and let them know that tonight was the night, there was no going back cause my water was really leaking out by then.
Iva showed up around 10 pm, my mom was going straight to the clinic because she had a long drive, my contractions were getting really regular and all of the sudden I got an urge to clean. I freaked out. I refused to leave until the house was spotless.
Ryder and Iva started helping me and we were all cleaning together and Iva and Ryder started laughing at me cause here I was having contractions and leaking and obviously going into labor and I was rushing around cleaning up the house! I started vacuuming and every time I got a contraction I stopped and waited tell it was over and then I would start vacuuming again. My midwife called back and said that I should come in right away, but I wanted to finish cleaning the house so she said I could but that I really should come as soon a possible. Ryder and Iva thought we should leave but I wasn’t done vacuuming and I didn’t feel that the house was clean enough yet so I didn’t want to leave. Ryder and Iva looked so worried that it was kind of funny, but I really didn’t care about any thing but a clean house at the time. By the time I was done vacuuming the contractions were coming on strong so Ryder started packing up the kids, they were so sleepy. I was on the couch because the contraction were really intense and I felt like I couldn’t move. Ryder came and got me last and helped me out to the van, there was a quiet excitement in the air. On the drive over the contractions were not as bad and I felt kind of peaceful, it was nice that the big day, or should I say night, was finally here. It was a pretty night and we were driving on back roads and Ryder had a nap time cd playing, my favorite one, and I wasn’t scared at all. I thought I would be but I wasn’t, I felt really at peace. I heard later that Ryder was flying over those back road and Iva was white knuckling it the whole way following him, but I didn't notice, I was to busy staring out the window and soaking it all in. I was so excited to finally get to have a natural birth (after the C-section with Bubu). The night was warm and kind of bright, and every thing seemed cozy as we walked into the clinic, my mom was already there. The only disappointing thing was when they checked me, I was only 2 centimeters! I felt so much farther along then that. At that point I started to feel a little worried that this was going to last for a long time. But everything was so intense that I didn’t think about that for long. I couldn’t get in the tub yet cause it was to early so I decided to take a shower.
When I got out things were pretty intense, all I wanted to do was lay down on the bed, and that’s were I stayed, for the most part. Ryder was in the room at first, but he feel asleep and his arm started to twitch on my head, and it irritated me so I asked him to go get Iva. He stayed out of the room the rest of the night, and Iva and my mom took turns comforting me. Kim, my midwifes assistant at the time, stayed with me the whole night. I really liked her so I was glad she was the one to stay with me. I didn’t talk to any one much at all, I was focused on controlling my voice and keeping my noises low and opening myself up. I threw up a lot, that was no fun at all, but in a weird way it felt good, and I knew it was also helping me to open up so I just focused on that and didn’t let it bother me to much. I kept my eyes closed most of the time. I wanted to be checked half way through the night, but they didn’t want to check me to much cause of my water being broken, so they told me to wait. Every one thought I was going to take a long time, because of were I was when they checked me the first time. I just wanted to get in the tub and I knew I needed to be 5 centimeter to do that and I felt like I had to be close to that cause the contractions were non stop. Then the light started to shine out side and I could hear birds singing and everything felt surreal. The contractions had been intense all night, more then any one seemed to realize, and I heard my mom and Kim talking about getting me up later for a walk to keep things going, because it was going to be such a nice day. I thought they were crazy because I could barely keep on top of the contractions and I felt delirious. I realized that no one really understood were I was when Kim told me to breath between contractions and rest and I knew that was impossible cause there was no in between. Then I started to lose it, I hurt so bad, this is the only time I started to get loud, I started to say out loud how much it hurt, cause I felt like no one understood where I was since I had been so quiet, except for the deep sounds I had been making. They told me to switch positions so I did and that’s when I felt like I needed to push, it was a strange sensation. So I told Kim, and I could tell she didn’t really believe me, but I insisted and so she went to tell the midwifes. My midwife finally came, she obviously wasn’t in much of a rush, and she checked me and everyone was surprised to find out that I was 8 to 9 centimeters! Except for me, I knew I was ready to go. So then I wanted in the bath tub, cause I wanted to be sure to have a water birth, and they started filling up the tub. It couldn’t fill up fast enough I wanted in so bad! Finally I got in and it felt wonderful and I started pushing right away. The head was down low and everyone was getting excited. Then it seemed like something was going wrong and I started to feel scared for the first time. Because his head was right there but he wasn’t coming out. I was so tired by this time cause I had been up most the night. The labor had been so intense the whole time that I hadn’t had any rest in between. I was trying to push, but I couldn’t seem to do more then one or two pushes at a time and I couldn’t hold my breath and push for more then the count of about five. I was drained. I kept straining and pushing and I could feel the intense pressure and stretching of his head but he just wouldn’t come out. At one point, for the first time during my labor, I worried about my uterus rupturing, and felt a little fear (because of my previous C-section). I was afraid of straining to hard because of this, also I knew the harder I pushed the more hemorrhoids I would have, and even though this shouldn’t have been on my mind, it did cross it for a moment (seriously it did, haha!). The midwives felt like I wasn’t in a good position, and my legs weren’t wide or high enough so they wanted me to get out of the tub. I again felt like they were crazy, and I didn’t want to get out. I could see the concern on their faces though and everything seemed very serious at that moment. So as they were discussing how to get me out of the tub, I decided I wasn’t getting out and I started pushing harder then ever and with great determination. I had this feeling that my unborn child's life and health, as well as my own, was literally up to me at that very moment, and that I must call upon every fiber of my being, and the strength that only a women in labor can have. It was not a voice, I was beyond thinking, it was a knowing, a primal motherly knowledge, an instinctual feeling of my child’s life being in danger.
I heard some one call out to get the mid wives attention and tell them that I was pushing and I heard every thing get really frantic at once and Kim jumped into the tub and every one gathered around and with one great big push that felt like my eyes would pop out of my head out came Ira. I can not even properly describe the power or energy that surrounded me at that very moment. He was put on my chest and he was a grayish blue and had such a cone head. Then everything started to speed up, and I could tell that some thing was wrong.
They started telling me to talk to and rub by baby and they were putting a tube down his throat and getting the oxygen. I knew they were trying to get me to get him going and he didn’t seem to be breathing.
I was so scared at that very moment. Time stood still for him and I and sped by around us at the same time. I can’t even explain it. I heard nothing but the hum of commotion and I felt like I could barely breath.
Then he started to breath and I felt myself take a breath with him and he moved and I started to cry because I was so relieved and I looked up at Ryder for the first time.
Things got pretty hectic for me also after his birth, I won't go into it, I'll just say I lost a lot of blood and had to have a lot of work done. It wasn't pleasant. The reason why he got stuck was because he had his hand on his face as he went through the birth canal and I had to push out his head and elbow. It's hard to explain but anyways he made it all difficult. His head was already 15 inches and he was a big baby, so he really didn't need to go the extra mile there and make it even harder! He was born at 8:03 am (about 12 hours after my water broke and my contractions started) on June 3rd.
I knew he was an *** (
his real name isn't Spike, shocking!) when I was looking at him nurse and I told my husband what I felt and he agreed. I think at that point he would have agreed with any name, or anything for that matter, he was so blown away by the whole thing. He had dark hair, he actually had hair! He was so dark in comparison to Bubu from his skin to his eyes and hair it was almost shocking.
My husband and Bubu comforted me while my midwifes fixed me up. They were so sweet. Atty slept through the whole thing! Of course he was only four months old.
Daddy got to weigh him and he weighed 10 lbs 3 ounces! We all guessed the weight beforehand and my husband got it right on! He was so proud of that fact.
This picture was taken a few days after Spike was born, cute little babies!*
About four hours later we packed up and went home. Everything went better then I could ever have imagined, and I couldn’t believe that just yesterday I had been pregnant and now I was going home with our second (biological, we didn't know that we would be adopting Atty at the time) child! Our van was full, my hubby and I in the front, Atty and little baby Spike in the middle and J and Bubu in the back. Wow! It was nice to get home and snuggle up in my own bed with the babies. Two weeks off, and then back to work, yikes.
*
...and now you are two, and I can hardly believe it. Reading your birth story still brings tears to my eyes. You are so amazing my son. Smart, funny, adorable, and ten steps ahead of me at all times. I love your snuggles and your cute little voice. Lately I will catch a glimps of you out of the corner of my eye and I will have to stop and stare, because I don't understand when the baby melted away and the little boy appeared. It happened too fast. Way too fast. Happy Second Birthday by baby boy. I know, I know, your bigger now, I just can't come to terms with that. Just like I tell your brothers, not matter how big you all get you will always be my babies...
Then this past weekend we went to a party. There was a girl there, about five years old, whose spied his birthmark. "Eewww" she said "what's that?" I looked to where she was pointing and she was pointing straight at his birthmark and my heart sank. This is what I was afraid of. Kids can be so mean. I nicely told her it was his birthmark, that he was born with it. To which she responded "It's weird" and I was at a loss for words. Spike, being little, was completely oblivious to all of this. This little five year old girl went on to point out his birthmark to any other little kid she could show saying things like "look isn't that weird, it's so big." I tried to ignore her, and change the subject but she was relentless. It was so frustrating and for me heartbreaking. I know that there will be other kids that will tease him about his birthmark. Point it out, ask him questions about it. Kids always point out things that are different. Pick at them, and sometimes torment other kids about there differences. I don't want him hurt by all this but I know I can't stop it and he will soon be able to understand that there is something different about him that other kids see. Something that some people think is beautiful, but not everyone.
He's such a silly boy, my hope is I can teach him not to let the comments get to him (like they do me). To just tell anyone who makes a big deal about it what it is in a matter of fact way and then walk away and let it go. To know in his heart who he is and be confidant of that. I hope he feels good about his birthmark, proud of it in fact, knowing that it makes him uniquely him. A big fat angel kiss. My mom use to tell me that all my freckles were angel kisses when I would get upset about them. That the angels just loved me up really good before I was born. When I would get teased about them (I do have A Lot of freckles!) I would hear that in the back of my head, and it always helped me to just let it go. I've even learned to love my freckles now. That's what I hope to pass on to him, something that reminds him that it's okay, that it makes him special and wonderful in the eyes of God and his family and anyone else who loves and cares about him.
It sound silly to be so worried about it, but I truly know how mean kids can be. I was teased relentlessly about the most ridiculous things as a child. It was hard and I suffered almost daily from it. I would come home in tears some days. I'm a sensitive soul, as my children seem to be also. It's good to be sensitive, but you take everything to heart and it sure can make life harder sometimes. I have to figure out how to help him be okay with who he is no matter what others say, in fact I have to help all my children with this, and to stay true to themselves.
Isn't he cute?!
