Getting it on paper, sort of...

There has been so much going on, and lots swirling around in my head. But I never seem to have the time to blog about it. I want to, I think up great posts... but they stay their unpublished in my head, and soon forgotten. Sad.

My girl is growing up so fast. I'm not doing a very good job with journaling that this time around. So it's not just the blogging, I can't seem to write in her journal either. Or get any scrap booking done... I haven't even started on her baby quilt! Shesh. I've written a little in her baby book, but I bet it's time to update that as well.
She is my fearless one. Climbing to the top of the boys bunk bed in the blink of an eye. Always trying to keep up with her brothers. She is talking up a storm, new words every day it seems. Singing. Love the singing. She will bust out with Ol' McDonald had a farm, and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star or the ABC's song and it's really super clear and absolutely adorable. She loves to beat box {her daddy taught her how} and dance. She hears music and she starts bopping. She can be nursing or half asleep but if music comes on she shoots up and starts moving and grooving. It's really funny. She's got some good moves too, dances better then her mommy already. {that's not really all that hard, ha ha!} She's only nursing a few times a day now... but she would still nurse all day if I let her. I have a feeling she is not going to be easy to wean. If I sit down to do any thing she assumes that it must be nursing time. I often read while nursing her, so now when she want to talk me into nursing her she will go grab a book and follow me around the house saying "Oobie, oobie, oobie". {All my kids have called nursing oobie, Lala did say Aboo instead for a short bit, not sure why.} She's sleeping on her own now for the most part, although she still wakes up way too much. I don't lay down with her anymore, but I often fall asleep at the foot of her bed, cause I'm so stinkin' tired! She can really pitch a fit. Really. And she's starting to do it a lot. She has also been hitting her brothers quite a bit. Some times the house will echo with "Baby sister hit me!" I've given her a few time outs, and she will sit there f0r her 1 minute and then go tell which ever brother it was {or all of them as was the case yesterday} that she is sorry. It's cute. The sorry part. Usually said with a kiss and then all is forgiven. I don't think her brothers can stay mad at her. She's taken up screaming when she has something one of her brothers want, that she most likely just grabbed away from them. She will run away on her chubby little legs as fast as she can, screaming like her life depends on it. It sounds as if she is a little terror {which she sort of it, but a cute one...ha ha!} but actually she has lots of shinning star moments where she just melts me. She's so sweet, and funny. So smart. She loves to cuddle her mommy, and follow me everywhere. She love to help me with everything. She loves shoes. Really loves shoes. Especially her red shoes, and now her new pink cowboy boots. She has one set of molars in, and that was a nightmare. Glad those are all the way in now. She puts them to good use too, as she loves to eat.

I've been working on putting together some gifts for my sister in law who just had a baby boy. I made her a really cute monkey themed diaper cake, don't have a picture yet as my camera is dead right now {so sad}. They didn't have much in the way of baby boy clothes as the last kid was a girl, and they weren't really planning on another. So I asked a bunch of my wonderful friends to find gently used clothes for me to gather up for her. They of course came through with some really cute stuff and so I have a ton of adorable little baby boy outfits for her now. All washed already so that she won't have to. I'm also making her a few dishes of food for the freezer so that she can skip on making a few meals. We are going to visit them next weekend {it's about a two hour drive} to see the baby for the first time and I am so excited! I also bought way to many outfits {all a deal of course, because I love sales} for her, and one of the cutest baby blankets I've ever seen! I love buying kids clothes, there just so cute. Way better then shopping for myself, which I hate to do.

My boys are growing so fast. I look at them and can't hardly believe it. How are they not babies any more? The things they say now, the games they play together, they all have such a good imagination. Love it. Atty has a harder time with imaginative play, but he goes along with the games his brothers come up with. His vocabulary is expanding rapidly, and he is starting to use more expressive words now which is great to hear. Spike is such a little brother. He loves to pester. It can get really frustrating. I mean he really loves it and has perfected it. He's the brother that does the whole, "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you" with his hand hovering right there and the other child screaming, thing. With a smile on his face. He's so smart too and knows every ones weaknesses. He really seems to need constant attention, which is part of the reason why he pesters so much. He asks me for hugs all day long. I've been making a real effort to sit and snuggle him more. I have also been trying to remember to use more praise for him too, as he needs it. Well they all do of course, but he often gets in trouble a lot, which gets defeating for him, so I have to try and focus on what I can praise him for. Some days, I'll be honest, are a lot harder then others for that. He can be so sweet though, and really takes good care of his baby sister. They all do. You can see how much she adores them because of that. Bubu has been on a helping me roll. He loves feeling like a big kid, doing chores with me that the other kids can't do yet, like hand washing dishes. He's pretty good at it too. Because he's an oldest, he sometimes gets frustrated with his younger siblings, gets over whelmed by them when he's trying to do something and they keep getting in the way. So he's been asking for more alone time in his room, me time as we call it around here. He has always been one for playing on his own and being perfectly happy that way, so he will some times go into his room and build with blocks or what ever. He just needs that break. So far he's the only one who asks for it. I think because I am an oldest of four siblings I understand Bubu's need for alone time, and I sympathize and related to him more. I have a harder time understanding Spike, and probably Lala here pretty soon. I guess I will need to ask my little sister to interpret for them, ha ha!

Well I took a moment to ramble on about the kids, but that just scratches the surface of what I've been mulling over in this brain of mine. As always though, all the kids are up, daycare kids will be here any moment and breakfast needs to be made. Then the cleaning, the schooling, and everything else that takes up every spare moment of my day needs to be done. So I guess once again all those thoughts will stay in my head, and who knows maybe that's were they belong. Just thoughts in my head.

Birthday Photos...

Look at those curls!

Got to have those special birthday pancakes. Made these with almond flour and he loved them.

These are meat loaf cupcakes with ketchup and mustard. I used almond flour to make them and Atty loves these as well. He had the mustard topped one. Sounds gross, but the kids thought it was awesome.

I some times can hardly believe they are all mine, how did I end up with four kids! They are growing too fast...

Our superman! Opening his birthday presents. His daddy made him that bird house and he loved it. He's really into birds and all things bird related right now. The boys all got binoculars for his birthday so that they could spy on the birds in our yard.

Atty got a bike, now the boys all have their own bikes... I'm thinking there are going to be a lot of outings with the bikes this summer! {Although it's going to take a lot of work to get Atty at the point where he can ride his bike.}

Birthday cake!

Made of course out of almond flour, with whipped cream for frosting {he can tolerate a little} and blueberries to make it fancy. It ended up being pretty yummy, surprising for a first time try! He loved the blueberries, he could only have a little bit so I had to count fast as he stuffed them in his mouth before I could even cut the cake!

And now you are four... Happy birthday!

To the moon and back birthday boy...

Because it is your birthday my heart child, my fiery redhead, my love, I had to put a baby picture up. Look at those cheeks! Be still my heart, *sigh*...

One year ago to day things looked a lot more like this...
You were having a hard time talking, walking, feeding yourself, or bathing. You could no longer use the toilet. You were drooling and falling over all the time. You were sad, understandably. You were frustrated, overwhelmed and scared. You slept all the time, and could only watch your brothers play. It all happened so fast. You went from our normally happy Atty, active and playing... to seizing all day long. The day before your third birthday I was begging and praying for you to be released from the hospital so that we could celebrate your birthday at home {after a nine day hospital stay}. We did get home in time, but as many of you know the storm continued for many more months. The up and down roller coaster ride. So much has happened in one year. I am thankful beyond words that we are now where we are today. You my son are amazing.

To see you walking and talking. Witnessing how far you have come. Hearing from your doctors at Children's how amazed they are by you. You are a miracle. Your doctor told me there has never been another case she knows of at Children's where a child recovered so well when they didn't even know why the seizures started in the first place. We might never know, but I am so thankful we found out how to stop them. I'm so glad we were able to put you on the Modified Atkins for seizures diet and that it worked for you when six different medicines wouldn't. It's not easy, but I hope you know that I would move mountains for you. I love seeing how excited you get when I figure out another recipe that you like. Thanks to almond flour I've been able to figure out recipes for muffins, bread, cookies, cake, and things like meatloaf and breaded chicken. Every time I figure out something new I feel like the diet gets even more successful and it warms me. Makes me feel good inside, because it's something I can do for you to make things better. I know this diet can be hard on you, some times you talk about candy with a gleam in your eye like any other little kid, but you can't have any. You can't join in for ice cream or have the same cake as everyone else at a birthday party. You can't have anything made from grain. You can't eat unlimited fruit or vegetables with every one else. Every time you eat you have something different then the other kids. We try to keep the stuff you can't have out of your life, but there are times when it's unavoidable. And you cope. Because of you this diet works. With your help Atty we have made you seizure free! So now today on your 4th birthday we celebrate not only your birth and your life, but also how far you have come!

I love you more then life it's self Atticus. To the moon and back, quack, quack...

12 blurry months...

It was a year ago today that I wrote this. I can't believe it's been a year already. I was actually washing the dishes today when it dawned on me and I became so over whelmed I started to cry. The feelings of that day washed over me, the panic and fear felt like it was going to swallow me up once again. I had to take deep breathes and call a close friend to share my feelings with her. We talked about that day, and the days and months that followed, then we moved on to how far we have come. How well he is doing on his special diet. How amazing he is. How inspiring the whole situation has been for so many people around us. After that I really calmed down and spent the rest of the day reminding myself that it is not a sad day or a scary day any more, it is a day to give thanks and remember how far we have come. We had some family over and shared a nice meal and I made him his favorite magic diet foods and it was wonderful. So perfect. I love that today we took a day that 12 months ago threatened to rip us apart and leave us blowing in the wind, and we turned it around into a beautiful day of remembrance and thanks. I am so thankful. So today I will end this day on my knees, but I won't be pleading, I will be giving thanks. With tears of joy.

Snow day

Funny story...we drove 2 1/2 hours up the mountain to take the kids sledding in the snow, just to have it turn around and dump on us this week. Silly us. The kids got a story this Christmas called Stranger in the Woods. Now I know it sounds scary but it's actually just about a snowman in the woods that all the creatures of the forest are wondering about. They finally get close to it and realize it's a yummy edible snowman. It's a cute book. We decided to make an edible snowman for the birds in our neighborhood and we got ideas from the book. After rolling up the snow we used a carrot for the nose {Don't think any birds around will be eating that, but you never know what might come take a nibble.} nuts for the eyes and mouth and then we sprinkled two types of bird seed on his hat and around the ground. It was a lot of fun.
This is the first snowman that the boys all helped with. Maybe next year the little girl will lend a hand too...

Had to get the muscle behind the project in the picture too, ha ha! It was so much fun to spend time in the snow with the hubby and kids. After we were done with the snowman we didn't want to be done with the snow so we grabbed our sleds and decided to go across the street to the field and see if we could sled down the hill in the back. My hubby was skeptical but I told him that the boys didn't need a super big hill this year and it would be easier to go up and down that way anyways.

I ended up being right {as usual...just kidding...sort of, ha ha!} We had a blast! At one point I just had to bring up how funny it was that we were having more fun across the street from our house on a little hill then we did when we drove 2 1/2 hours to go sledding. I think we went down that hill a total of four times and then called it a day. Of course there were a lot of little factors in that day that made it over all tiring and a tad bit frustrating, like driving that long and then finding out when you get there with 3 young boys that there is NO WHERE to go to the bathroom...ummm yeah. I won't tell you what we did, but desperate times call for desperate measures. But back to this snow day. If anyone needs to pee it's a hop, skip and jump away from home. Nice.

And away goes Bubu, all on his own.

Atty waiting for his turn. He did a lot better too, he got way too cold the last time. This day was bright, even I dare say a bit warm. Makes for a better time. He went down a few times, but he wanted to be pulled back up, little stinker.

Away goes Spike, push me faster daddy!

Snuggling the baby.

Even Lala and I took turns.

I just had to take a picture of my oldest son dragging the sleds home. How did he grow so fast? What a wonderful day. I've heard there is more snow headed our way. I'll get sick of it eventually, just not yet. If it's going to be cold...it might as well snow.

{Looking back in these pictures I realize it really does look like there is no hill at all, but there is, I swear. It's just big enough to be fun for the little ones and not scary. Even my hubby went down on his own a few times just for the fun of it, head first of course...}

Showing signs...

Sorry the video is sort of shaky, I was using my camera and couldn't get everyone in the screen at the same time. It's still so cute though that I just had to post! We've been working on signing and watching Signing Times videos {Love Them!} and they have come a long ways already, they even know more then they were showing in the video. I love when Bubu comes up to me and starts teaching me signs that he's learned, ah it's adorable! I've been having them sign through out the day to make it a normal part of their routine. I'd love to find a class or a tutor to work more closely with them. Sign language is a really great {and often overlooked} second language to learn.

...and now it's 1-1-11...

We had a wonderful New Years eve together, giving thanks for all of our blessings this past year and most of all giving thanks for each other! When I look back on 2010 I know it was hard, but above all I feel the love that surrounds this family and that is what matters most to me. We will keep going together into this new year... For some reason probably because the date today is all ones, I feel like it's a fresh beginning and I feel really good about what is to come, even the hard stuff...because it's life and there will be hardships. But I'm not afraid, I'm excited. Which is saying a lot coming from me because I can be a bit of a worrier. {and that is an understatement!}

We spend New Years eve watching the first Narnia movie together and we even ate our dinner while watching, some thing we rarely do and the boys get really excited when it happens. Lala wasn't to in to the movie, but she sure was cute. I'm not sure what I watched more her or the movie.

Then we put a puzzle together, don't let its size fool you, it was hard!

We took lots of silly pictures...

This being one of them...

We took so many we cracked ourselves up! Worse picture ever of me, but look at Spikes face, pure happiness...so cute! His laugh is so beautiful, it really is!

Had to get a picture of the hubby and I.

Great picture of my boys! By this time the baby girl had tapped out, she put up a good fight though! :)

Watching for fireworks at midnight and drinking our sparkling cider...they all made it this time!

We spent today up here, on the mountain, sledding! It was a beautiful day and we had lots of fun although it was pretty cold! We didn't last very long, I think we spent more time driving up there and back then we did actually sledding, but oh well.

Beautiful bundled up baby!

Daddy and Atty going down the hill.

She wasn't so sure about all the white stuff...hard to walk in ya know!

My little bundled up monkey, he was so brave, he even went down the hill on his own after watching Bubu do it. Always wants to be like his big brother...

Even Lala and I took a turn, poor girl ended up with a face full of snow, well we both did, but she took it like a champ!

Here is Bubu and Spike going down with their daddy, so cute!

*Cheering on the boys.*

The rest of the pictures are scenery, it was so absolutely gorgeous out I couldn't help myself and took way to many pictures. Actually the pictures don't even do it justice but I tried.

A wonderful day well spent. A great way to ring in the new year! Time to reflect on the long drive home. I have some big plans {Well not big in the bigger picture, just big in my little world.} and I guess high hopes for this year. I don't like setting myself up for disappointment, but I don't really feel that I am. I mostly want to change the way I look at thing, try to see things form a different angle and get more artistic. Spend more time creating and less time well, cleaning. And even though not a lot has changed or even looks like it will and things are still very stressful around here, I just have this feeling. A feeling of peace. For this very moment at least. And this is the moment that counts. :)

Peace to you and yours!