Distraction

Can you spot the most beautiful flower of all?Lala likes to garden with me.
Which basically means she likes to eat dirt.

And distract her momma with her cuteness so that nothing gets done.

Instead mommy spends the whole time snapping pictures.

How could I do anything else?

Besides the plants aren't hurting any...look at those Giant Sunflowers!

Rain drops are falling on my head...

It seems silly to post these now, seeing as it is currently pretty hot outside and not a drop of rain to see. But I find them to cute to not post, so there you go.

A new favorite around here is playing with chalk in the rain.

Even Lala wanted in on the action this time. She wants to do everything her brothers are doing..already!

She was so proud that she actually got her hands on some chalk.

The boys love playing in the rain, and they love coloring so this activity is a serious hit at our house.

It's a good thing they are Washingtonians through and through.

Everybody drawing together.

Rainy day cutie pie...

Sharing with her brother.

The best part of the day...Bubu wrote his first word all on his own with no prompting! I was so proud when he called me over to show me.

Then so daddy wouldn't feel left out he had me help him write this one. He did it on his own though while I showed him the letters.

Fun time spent in the rain playing with the kids. :)

Just in case you didn't know

...yes she's that cute...

I'm that mom...

Some of you are going to judge me after reading this post.

*

I understand but please keep it to yourself if you are because I am beat myself up enough as it is.

Last night we had to say goodbye to our family dog. I've been crying about it for the last couple days and well into this morning. She needed a new home and I know it's what is best for her but it was so hard all the same.

I feel like I failed her, and my kids. I'm the mom that got rid of the beloved family dog. That sucks.
I just couldn't do it any more, I'm not a super mom no matter how hard I try. It was already hard enough trying to take care of four kids, a daycare, a house and the dog, often all alone because my husband works All The Time...but then add in Atty's serious health issues and his Modified Atkins for Seizures diet on top of that and poor Luna just wasn't getting the care she deserved. Then she broke out in hives again this year and was scratching her back raw. Big nasty bald spots. My vet told me she has allergies and suggested I change her diet. And that was the tipping point. I simply don't have it in me to do one more specialized diet. And I know that sounds horrible. But I can't. She was miserable and I knew she couldn't go on as it was, so I called a pug rescue and the sweetest lady ever came out last night and took her home to foster her until they find her a permanent home. So we said good bye.

I talked to my boys about it, for days before it happened. In simple terms. How mommy just couldn't give Luna the care she deserves. How she needs more walks, and attention and care from me and I wasn't meeting her needs. I told them that her new family would be able to fix her so that she didn't itch so bad and wasn't so miserable. I didn't mention Atty's health issues because that's not the direct reason, it's my ability to cope with Atty's health issues as well as the dogs. I didn't want any blame to be placed any where but with me. And as always my children rolled along with the way things needed to be. They hugged her, and loved her and said good bye. They wished her happiness in her new home and not a tear was shed...except by me.

Silly rainy days

I Love This Girl!

River fun

When the sun {was} shining a little while back, I took my kids to the river for some fun in the sun...we brought along our Best Friends Forever and had a picnic. The kids had a blast. I was going to take my kids again this weekend...but of course it's raining yet again in the Pacific NW. My little sun bathing beauty.

My closest friend in the whole wide world, my sister by choice...and our daughters who are already great pals. :)


This little runt screamed and cried until I would set her down...and then she would try to eat the sand, over and over again...Uggggg! I would tell her "icky-blah!" and she would just look at me and smile. Keeping her on a blanket turned out to be a losing cause. Taking a crawler to a sandy beach...not so fun. (For me anyways, I think if you asked her she would say she had a blasted driving her mother crazy.)

I couldn't get a good picture of Banden because he was to busy following around his BFF! Those two are inseparable when they are around each other...he's known her since the day he was born. She is the honorary big sister for my kids, it is hilarious to hear her mothering them.
(Just so you know they are not actually playing in the main part of the river, if they were they would have life jackets on and an adult right by their side. They were playing in a little shallow inlet.)

This little sand monster...I have no words for this. Best game ever apparently.

And this little boy had a most wonderful time, so good to see. Last time we were down here he laid on a blanket in the sand and fussed and cried. He was having so many seizures I had to carry him down and he kept falling when he would try to get up and join his brother who were digging in the sand. He was wearing a helmet and drooling everywhere and I was trying to talk myself into being okay with the new direction our lives were going in. I had just been told he had intractable seizures. I was sad...but trying to be happy for the kids.

This time at the river I wasn't trying...I just was...Happy!

*I can believe how far he's come!*

~Yes indeed it was bitter sweet~

All together at last.I've been trying to find the words to express myself. I can't. The visit was beautiful and sad. It was overwhelming and brief. It was not enough...and to much. It filled my heart and left it aching. It made me smile and cry. It was as I thought bitter sweet. It was all these things and yet these words can't possibly describe what I felt during the visit. I feel like I can't even process it still. What I do know for sure is that seeing Atty with his bio brother together at last was a touching and beautiful thing...as well as sad beyond belief.
When Atty first saw him he just stopped and stared, suddenly shy. We have been talking about this visit for a while and I think the reality of it was a little much for him at first. But he warmed up fast and they were soon playing in the sandbox together. Sharing, showing each other things, working together, just like brothers do.

It was so sweet to watch. I tried to watch discretely, giving them space to get to know each other. It was hard not to snap non-stop pictures of them. As it is I took way to many...if that's possible.

They are so similar in looks and in behavior. It was amazing seeing these two acting so much the same way when they have been raise separately in two different families. Both his mother and I couldn't help marveling on all the similarities. They said some of the same phrase in the same way, moved in the same way, speech was similar, likes and dislikes along the same lines...it really makes you think about the whole nature verses nurture thing, environment verses genetic.

This photo touches me, two mothers raising brothers. Atty looked at this picture and said it perfectly..."Two Mommy's"...

We went to the zoo together on the second day and had a lot of fun. Here is a picture of Atty with his bio brother and family looking at the elephants. He really liked them and felt comfortable with them it was so sweet.

Saying goodbye was SO much harder then saying hello. It wasn't so much for me. I'm not sure how to explain myself on this. It broke my heart for Atty. It was so sweet seeing them together and watching them interact I just didn't want it to end, for him. I will of course miss him too, but we didn't really bond. I mean it was two very busy days and I didn't want to upset him by being to clingy or anything so I gave him his space. We interacted some and had fun together but I have to admit I didn't feel much of a connection, maybe because I was afraid to, because that would hurt to bad, I don't know. But what I did see was a connection to and a love for his brother from Atty and that, THAT, was hard to say goodbye too. I cried, on and off for the rest of the day and into the night. I really liked his parents too, especially his mom and I wish we had more time together then we did. I wish they lived closer instead of two states away!

My mom got to meet her grandson for the first time, this picture is so nice to see, both of the boys together with their Neenee.

Giving hugs as they depart. I saw a connection with these two and it was heart warming.

And now for the final good bye...for now. Until we meet again.

Love for a brother...and a friend.